Gaaaaaaah! No more burrito for me!

Maybe it's because I've never suffered from chest or back acne, but isn't there something you can do to stop it? Oh, that's so gross. And to think, this girl has millions. She could fix that shit ASAP. Sigh. I'll stop now. But ew, I was seriously eating a Chipotle (Moe's is better) burrito and had to put it down.

Yeah, I feel bad for the kid. He was a cute baby but he's starting to look like his mother.

Yes, that's his daughter Brooke.

Kendra Wilkinson, one of the Girls Next Door, is looking for some hot Olive Garden chicks. Apparently it's her favorite restaurant so Playboy wants to do a spread (heehee) featuring hot girls who work at Olive Garden. My cousin used to work at Olive Garden but she quit so she can't enter. To enter you need to submit two pictures, a DL which says you're at least 18 and a current pay stub.

I love Olive Garden. Call me a cheap hooker (like that's an insult?), I don't care. They have the best salad in the world. And don't get me started on the Alfredo sauce with the breadsticks.

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Hulk Hogan has already stepped out with his new girlfriend. He's currently getting divorced from his wife Linda. His new girlfriend looks exactly like his daughter actually, which is kind of gross. Ew, can you picture these two in bed together? Ugh.

That being said, I think she's gorgeous.

Here's more of the two at the airport on Tuesday and out and about in L.A. last night.

And when I say sloppy, I mean sloppy. Sophie Monk, who used to bang and was actually engaged to Benji Madden is now dating Alex Vaggo, the pizza boy who used to bang Paris Hilton, who is now banging Benji Madden, who used to bang Sophie Monk, who is now banging Alex Vag... sorry. It's a nasty ass herpes infested circle of skank.

That being said, the uglier of the couple is together now. Alex is a million times hotter than Benji, and Sophie is gorgeous. Upgrades all around, I guess. Or at least for these two. They were spotted leaving S Bar in Hollywood on Tuesday.

I'm ok with people being whores because, well, I'm a whore, but Kat Von D is ridiculous. It's not even fucking around, she literally falls in love every couple of weeks. Wasn't she just completely in love with Steve O? And now she and Nikki Sixx are soul mates. Ew, I just thought of them boning. Ugh, oh ew. The pillows and bedsheets have got to be a disgusting mess in the morning.

Here's more of the two herpes infested lovebirds at the Details party last night and at the launch for MAC's Heatherette collection, which I'm totally freaking ecstatic for.

Don't you just love a good spam advert? The ones from Dermitage are my favorite, other than the pop the zit ones or snap the celebutante. I mean how stupid do they think we are to think that those before and afters are real?

It looks photoshopped, is all I'm saying.

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Heidi Montag has released a "music video" for her new song. First of all, my fingers strained to type "music" because it's more like a serenade of cats in heat. Second of all. EW!!!!! The last thing I needed was to put a video to that horrible excuse for a song.

This is the same video she and Spencer shot on the beach a couple of months ago.

“[Kate] always brings a salt rock, which is some natural deodorant, and says, ‘Would you please put this on?’ I just never wore it. No cologne, no deodorant. The women in my life, including my mother, have all said, ‘Hey, your natural smell smells, one, like a man, and, two, smells like you’ . . . I take a few [showers] a day.”

-Matthew McConaughey

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And to be really grossed out, click here. It seems now that Britney is banging FinalPixx(the company that Adnan works for), X17 isn't loving her all that much anymore...

One thing is certain, though. Britney Spears is NOT pregnant right now.

Here's more of her and Adnan going out to eat in L.A. yesterday.

Shauna Sand and her daughter walked for that Kitson show and I'm honestly surprised she didn't slap on a kiddie pair of clear Lucite plastic shoes on the poor kid. You know she wanted to, but her daughter had enough sense to protest.

Here's another pic of her plus Vida Guerra. I have no idea why any of these chicks are famous, actually. It's not like they're Coco.

I'm all for animals, I love my pets, I don't wear fur, I donate to the ASPCA, but I will never like PETA. I think that organization is ridiculous and full of hypocrisy. Fur loving Kimora Lee Simmons is now the face of their new Be An Angel campaign, where she urges people to care for their dogs.

"You cannot just chain up an animal. The chains are heavy, it's cruel," she says. "Dogs need to run and play," she adds. That's why Kimora has teamed up with PETA urging dog guardians to "play with them, take them for long walks, don't ever chain or cage them."

It's sad to think that people don't know the basics in caring for an animal, watching fifteen minutes of Animal Cops you'll know how stupid/cruel people can be, but Kimora shouldn't be any kind of spokesperson for PETA. How about the many horses who've had their tails chopped off for use for her many wigs and weaves over the years. She didn't always have the cash to splurge for human hair, ya know.

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Oh, god nooooooooooo!!!!!

When is Heidi Montag going to realise she's not hot. Ok, I take that back, her body's alright (minus the outrageous implants) but she in no way should be doing that. I get she was just trying to lay down but still. And don't even get me started on these:






Haha, I love the last one where Spencer is ~flexing~.

These two were "caught" frolicking around on the beach in Mexico. I know there American citizens and all, but can we deport them somewhere else? I don't know, Cuba perhaps. Or Venezuela. I would love to see what Hugo Chavez has to say about them.

If there was something that I did not need to see in life, it was something called Heidi Montag showing off her ass cheeks in Maxim. Her "sexy" face reminds me of Mr. Ed when they would put sugar or whatever on his gums.

Check out the rest at the source. But I'm warning you, it's far from pretty.

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There are no words.