Lipstick Bitches: 30 September 2007

Saturday, October 6, 2007

This Is Gonna Suck

Here's the new poster for 10,000 BC. It looks like it's going to be amazing in the CGI department but Steven Strait is starring and he's hot, but not great in the acting skills. And Camilla Belle is also hot, but she'll never be Raquel Welch:

Divas Unite

Posh Beckham and Dita Von Teese met up on the red carpet for the Chanel show at Paris Fashion Week.

I love Dita, but bitch needs to get a tan.

Hey lookie who else was there:

Oh, Lily. How I miss the old you.

Here are more pictures of the girls, including Karl Lagerfeld and Kirsten Dunst, at the show.

Maybe They Fucked With Her A Little Too Much

Lily Allen says she's lost weight by being hypnotized. She has recently gone from a size 12 to an 8 and blames mind-altering sessions on showing her to eat properly and work out more.

"After the hypnotism, I want to go to the gym every day, otherwise I feel really bad.

"I just want to get more toned and healthy. I'm really good about everything at the moment - I've never been happier."

Yeah and you've never been douchier before, either. Something tells me the fucked with you in more ways than just losing weight.

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Que Sucia!

Kelly Osbourne says that she was so nervous while performing onstage in Chicago as Mama Morton, she threw up in her mouth.

'I threw up in my mouth. I thought, 'What am I going to do? There's no bin here'. So I had to actually swallow it and then through the whole first scene all I could think was, 'I hope Annette [who plays Velma] can't smell my throw-up breath'. I was so scared.'

Ugh. I think it would've been a better show if she just threw up on the stage. Now that's entertainment, folks.

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Guess The Ass:

Kat Von D Does Maxim

Argentine tattoo artist Kat Von D, who stars in reality show L.A. Ink, graced the pages of Maxim Magazine.

Um, yeah, Isla Fisher did it way hotter earlier this year.

Did You Guess The Ass?

It was Brad Pitt, bitches! Brad is filming his new movie, Burn After Reading in NYC with George Clooney.

Goddamnit

I've broken my own vow. Tony Barretto, Britney Spears's ex bodyguard, is calling for a child abuse investigation against Britney Spears.

His lawyer, Gloria Allred, has said that Tony met with officials at the Los Angeles County Department of Children and filed a referral last week.

"The referral asks for an investigation into Britney Spears and her behaviour with her two young children," Allred said in a statement.

"It was our understanding at the end of the meeting ... (that) the department will investigate to the best of their ability," Allred continued.

"It was important that we filed because the department has no legal power to investigate unless there is a filing. Now that we have filed, they have the power to open an investigation."

Part of me thinks he's looking for more publicity. He could've done this right after leaving Britney or even before. But then the other part of me remembers that we're talking about Britney, here.

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Happy Barfday!

Paris and Nicky Hilton celebrated Nicky's birthday on Friday at LAX in Vegas.

I've always thought Nicky was the normal Hilton until she starts defending her sister's actions. I'm all for family and shit but if that was my sister, I wouldn't be saying a damn thing.

Lookie who else showed up:

DJ AM. Is he getting fat again? He had gastric bypass a couple of years ago but he's starting to look a bit chunk again.

Lo! Awe, she needs to stay away from Paris. That's the kind of dirty that don't wash clean.

What Happened To Her Face?!?!?!?

There was a time where Nicole Kidman was beautiful. She was natural and had long beautiful red curly hair.

Well, that time is gone and now she looks like a grandma. The hair is too processed and is quenching for some conditioner, the face is way too botoxed out. What happened, Nicole?

Nicole attended the New Line Cinema's 40th Anniversary Gala in NYC yesterday. Check out more of the pictures below. But I'm warning you, they're pretty scary.

Listen To This: Ben's Brother

Ben's Brother is this amazing band from the UK who you may have heard on a Dentyne Ice commercial. Their song Stuttering hasn't been commercially released yet but you can hear the entire song here.

Click play below to check it out!

Gloria Trevi in Maxim Magazine En Espanol

Watch Out, Britney!

Lindsay Lohan is no longer in rehab!

Amidst rumors of failing a drug test, Lindsay checked out of the Cirque Lodge Rehab Clinic on Friday.

"She's finished the program," one source says. "Lindsay is done, but she may come back for outpatient treatment. She over-extended her stay because she wanted to. She could have been out awhile ago, but she chose to stay."

True, she stayed longer but I honestly don't think she's ready to go back to California. She's said to be staying in Utah for outpatient treatment with the help of her father, Michael Lohan.

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I Call A Boycott

So yesterday I was out with my mother and I started singing a song. I tend to sing outloud so it wasn't a big thing until I realized that I was singing Gimme More by Britney Spears. I don't really listen to her songs so why the hell did I know every single word to that GD song? Ugh.

Anyways, since I sunk to a new low by paying to download the Brit-tit video to that song, I am going to compile all the Brit-tit news from the past two days in one post. I can't take anymore Britney!

Britney missed her first supervised visit with her kids on Thursday. They were supposed to meet with her at her home but according to Britney, she didn't hear the intercom when they tried to buzz into her house because the intercom wasn't working. Right.

The night before, “She checked into the Beverly Wilshire hotel. But early that morning, she realized it wouldn’t be right to have her first visit with the boys in a hotel. She needed to see them at home, with their things around them,” says the insider.

“She and Alli [Sims] headed to Brit’s Malibu house. They went to sleep as soon as they got there. Brit was up in plenty of time to prepare for the boys’ visit at 10 a.m.

“But she waited, and waited, and they didn’t show up. Alli’s cellphone rang, and it was Kevin [Federline’s] people, saying that the boys were going back to Kevin because she hadn’t answered the intercom at the gate!

“Brit didn’t realize the intercom wasn’t working. She begged them to bring the boys back. But they wouldn’t. She was devastated that they wouldn’t turn around.”

What the fuck ever. First of all, if you've got a house why do you keep checking in and out of hotels in the same area? Second of all, if you haven't seen your kids in a couple of days then why aren't you at the door waiting for them to arrive. Or at least call if you don't see them show up by 10:01?

Speaking of her babies, Kevin Federline is going to be recieving around $58,000 in child support a month and if he gets sole custody he's said to be recieving $77,000, according to her reported $700,000 a month income. That crazy bitch almost makes a million dollars a month!!!

And finally, Lynn and Jaime Lynn Spears flew out from Kentucky to be with Britney in California.

Hopefully Lynn helps Brit-tit get it together for the kids.

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Petey's Been A Bad Boy...

Pete Doherty may face a murder probe because of his possible involvement in the death of actor Mark Blanco. Blanco died last December after falling from a second-story building during a party where both he and Pete were attending. Pete fled as soon as Blanco fell, before the police had a chance to question him. Investigators have ruled out a suicide.

Jonathan 'Headlock' Jeannevol, who was with Pete that night, retracted his original statement where he said he pushed Blanco because he was bothering Pete. He now doesn't know why he said that in the first place.

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Friday, October 5, 2007

CariDee's Still Not A Model

CariDee will be guest starring in Gossip Girl. I've never watched the show, the previews gave me a headache with that GD Fergie song, so I don't know if it's good or not. What I do know is that CariDee won America's Next Top Model and hasn't really worked as a model since she left.

CariDee will be guest-ing this November where she's rumored to be playing the girlfriend of an older man. ::shrugs::

Do you think her resume says "Professional Party Girl, Sometime Actress"?

I loved her but she's been sooooo disappointing.

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!!Belanova Video!!

Mama Knows How It's Done

According to the National Enquirer, Vanessa Minnillo has given Nick Lachey an ultimatum. She wants to be married to him without a pre-nup, or she's gonna split.

"Vanessa Minnillo has hit Nick Lachey with a wedding ultimatum - marry me by next year without a prenup or I’m gone! ‘Vanessa loves Nick, but she’s prepared to walk if he’s not willing to marry her,’ an insider told The ENQUIRER. ‘And she’s not going to get involved in a prenuptial agreement. She feels marriage is forever, and she doesn’t want to begin a lifelong commitment by signing an agreement that’s just an out for a divorce.’ Ex-boy band member Nick, 33, and the 26-year-old beauty are spending time between homes in Los Angeles and New York - and are nearly ready to seal the deal, say sources.

“As the Enquirer recently revealed, Vanessa has picked out an engagement ring - a platinum band with a large emerald-cut diamond in the center and two smaller emerald-cut stone on each side. She first spotted the sparkler at the Kentucky Derby in May. ‘But all bets are off in Nick forces a prenup on her,’ said the insider.”

Get that money, honey, you're not getting any younger and unemployment isn't cute after the age of 28.

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Do You Know What Time It Is??!?!?!?!?

It's Crazy Brit-tit Video Time, y'all!!!

This Shit Would Be Famazing

Heather from Rock of Love wants her own reality show. Surprise, surprise. But she wants to do it with a couple of her bitches, including Chris Crocker. !!!!!

“[Chris is] funny and hilarious. He’s very flamboyant and he’s controversial, which is awesome . . . I think a reality show with the four of us in L.A. would be a great idea.“

Someone needs to get this ish on VH1, STAT!

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Told Ya!

Jess and Bret Michaels are no longer together. But in reality, how can you be together if you were never really together?

As soon as Jess got back to Chicago, the New York Post is reporting, she hooked up with clothing designer ????. She then dumped Bret over the phone.

Classic! I love this bitch and the fact that she couldn't even keep it in her pants until the reunion show had been taped makes me love her even more.

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Love Her!

Mena Suvari rocked her short hair out with hooker boots at the opening of Circa Nightclub in Toronto.

I don't care what aybody says aboyt Mena, she's fucking awesome. She doesn't take herself too seriously and she knows how to take a joke (unlike some people ::coughnatnatportmancough::).

Beauty In Picture Form

The most beautiful creature on this planet graced us with her presence at the VH1 Hip Hop Honors yesterday. Sigh. Why do I have an obsession with breasts?

Here's Coco and the rest of the gang at VH1 Hip Hop Honors yesterday:

Bow Wow
Wow did he grow up. I always thought he wouldn't grow up to be hot. Damn, now I feel like a perv again.

Busta Rhymes
Ew, he got busted. I never thought he was hot but he used to be fit. Now just fat. Busta Gut more like it.

Ciara
I still think she's a hermie.

Coco-T
My heart sings.

Eve
I miss her. I hate that her album was pushed back.

LL Cool J
Isn't he like forty something now? He still looks soo effing hot. Lick those lips, baby.

Melle Mel
Who is he and why haven't I fucked him yet?

Nick Cannon
Ew.

Salt -n- Pepa
OMG my friends and I totally did their song, What A Man for Karaoke Night at my high school. I got skills, bitches.

Tracy Morgan
I'm glad to see him still with the ankle monitoring bracelet. He cracks me up on Stern

Darjeeling Limited Premiere

I'm not a huge Wes Anderson fan but I did enjoy The Royal Tenenbaums. Last night was the premiere of Darjeeling Limited.

Natalie Portman, Paul Rudd, Steven Fisher, Anjelica Huston, Jason Schwartzman, and Adrien Brody all came out to support the film and although Owen Wilson didn't walk the red carpet, he showed up onstage with the rest of the cast.

Click the pics below for the rest of the attendees of the premiere!

Posh On Ugly Betty!

AAAAAAH! I can't wait.

Speaking of Ugly Betty, last night's episode was pretty amazing. But I have to say, what happened to Rick Fox? Damn, he used to be hot but he looked busted on the show.

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It's Britney, Bitch

I'm sorry, i just threw up. I'm not saying she doesn't look decent because she does, but then again anybody would with those fucking awful video effects. It reminds me of when you go into a pet store and they have all the fish tanks lined up. That shit gives me a headache.

Anyways, I have a confession to make. I completely groove out everytime I hear that song. I think maybe Chris Crocker had some effect on me. Ugh, I need help.

Jello's pulling an Eva

Jello's pregnant. We pretty much can conclude that by those pictures.

But why the lying and the "maybe, maybe not" bullshit. Halle Berry came right out and admitted it.

And then I remembered.

This is Jello we're talking about! Jello of Bennifer! She lives for publicity and speculation. This is the same woman who planned three different weddings to Ben Affleck in three different cities that way nobody would know where it happened.

That reminds me, Jennifer called into a radio show here in Orlando and they were prohibited to ask her if she was pregnant. Well at the end of the interview one of the DJ's asked if she was pregnant and she hung up the phone. Hilarious.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Viva America!

America Ferrera has been named Hispanic Woman Of The Year by The Hollywood Reporter and Billboard Magazine. She will be recieving her award, along with the 25 most powerful Latin American women in music, television, and film on October 9th.

"As a respected actress dedicated to advancing the position of Hispanics in television and film, it's clear that America has a long and successful career in entertainment ahead of her both on the screen and behind the scenes," he said.

Felicidades, chica!

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Carol Seaver's Having Another Baby!

Tracey Gold is expecting her fourth son with husband Roby Marshall.

Congrats for jumping on the baby bandwagon!

I totally loved Growing Pains until they made those awful reunion movies a couple years ago. I think I even recorded that garbage. Sigh.

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Bow Down, Bitches

It's Posh Beckham with Roberto Cavalli. Posh attended the Roberto Cavalli store opening in Paris.

Kids of Degrassi on TRL

I seriously need to catch up on this show. The last time I watched Craig and Ashley were still together and Jay and Silent Bob were filming at the school.

There Be Muppets On Your Shoes

The usually amazingly dressed Cate Blanchett turned heads (for the wrong reasons) at the screening for Elizabeth: The Golden Age.

All she has to do is change the shoes and rip that flower off her shoulder and she's good.

Hey, lookie who else was there:

Beth Ostrosky (Howard Stern's fiance)

Helena Christensen

Gina Gershon

And the rest: Michael Kors, Michael Imperiolli (with wife), Rose Byrn, and Fred Schneider

What In The Fuck Happened To His Face?!??!?!

Simon Cowell from American Idol along with Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson.

Random ANTM Picture Post

I found these from fashion week and decided to share. ♥ Enjoy.

Mercedes-Cycle 2

Nik-Cycle 5

Sick!

Dear Larry Birkhead,

I'm sorry, but exploiting your one year old daughter is disgusting. Do you honestly think she's going to appreciate you holding the microscope over her entire life when she gets older? Do you think that what she wants, as a one year old, is to constantly be in the spotlight? And not even to her benefit, but to yours! She just turned one and you've already made millions off of her. That's disgusting and so tasteless and you are obviously using your daughter to extend your fifteen minutes of fame.

Sincerely,
Lipstick Bitch

Sorry, had to get that out. Larry Birkhead has a deal with a producer for a reality show starring himself and Dannielynn.

"I don't want to give away something yet," Birkhead told us yesterday. "It's basically the 'day in the life of daddy duties.'

"The truth is, people came to me with pitches, and I haven't accepted anything. It's something they continue to talk to me about. It's multiple networks. I'm listening to what they have to say. I turned down ["Celebrity Rap Superstar"].

Oh wow. So turning down Celebrity Rap Superstar gives you integrity or credibility? I didn't know that.

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I Want Her Genes

GORGEOUS! Michelle Pfeiffer showed NO signs of agingat the London premiere of Stardust, showing the young girls how it's done.

Michelle attended the premiere along with Rupert Everett, Sienna Miller, and Claudia Schiffer, all pictured below.

A Fine Frenzy!

A Fine Frenzy in concert in NYC last night at the Fillmore

I looooooooooove One Cell In The Sea. I can't wait to see her in concert.

Here's Liar, Liar. Hope you enjoy!

Juanes Launches

Juanes launches his new CD La Vida Es Un Ratico in Madrid, Spain. I'm not sure I'm digging this as much as I loved his previous albums, though.

Click Play below to check out Me Enamora, his single off of the CD.

The Veronicas at MTV's The Lair

The Veronica's hosted MTV's The Lair at The Met in Sydney, Australia.

Guess The Ass:

ANTM Episode 3 Pics

Boy, that was fast. Last time it took them almost a week to get them up.

Check out the rest after the jump!

Photographed by: Mathew Jordan Smith

Ambreal

Bianca

Chantal

Ebony

Heather

Janet

Jenah

Kimberly

Lisa

Saleisha

Sarah

Victoria

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Who Got Eliminated From ANTM This Week...

What do you think? Do you agree?

For Maria...

Oldies but goodies of Jake Gyllenhaal at the Rendition premiere with Reese Witherspoon for the Toronto Film Festival. I really can't wait to see this. The trailers look amazing.

This Movie's Gonna Suck

Alvin and the Chipmunks was one of my favorite cartoon show growing up, I even was Brittany for halloween once. I have to say that I can forgive Hollywood for fucking up a lot of things, but this is one thing I will NEVER forgive.

They're made a live action/CGI movie of Alvin and the chipmunks. Above is a new poster for the movie.

This Is What Wet Dreams Are Made Of

I'm Coining A Phrase

Everytime a celebrity leaks information about themselves for more publicity or puts out fake information about themselves to get more publicity, I'm going to call it "Pulling An Eva".

Eva Longoria's sex tape turned out to be some silly bullshit with actor Perry Hilton. Isn't this bitch sick of herself already, cause I sure am.

Pambo Faked Miscarriage?

Publicity stunt alert!

According to Kid Rock, Pamela Anderson lied about having a miscarriage while they were married. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Rock describes what happened:

"She's in Vancouver shooting a movie and I have Lakers seats on the floor, and I'm gonna go to the Lakers (basketball) game with my friend Jesse James," the 36-year-old rapper says.

"I'm like, `Baby, I got these tickets. I'll see you on the weekend there,' and that leads into her saying, `You don't care about me, blah blah blah,'" Rock says. "She finally comes up with this: `I just had a miscarriage' ... and hangs the phone up."

Rock, claiming he was unaware that Anderson was pregnant, says he chartered a plane and flew to Vancouver. "When I get there, she's partying at this restaurant, drinking champagne, jumping on the tables. I'm thinking, `That's a quick recovery from a miscarriage.'"

I wouldn't put it past her to lie about a miscarriage, but why did he even have to bring it up? I don't want to be reminded of the fact that these two had sex.

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My Faith In The World Is Gone

Britney Spears's horrible single, Gimme More is at #3 on the Billboard charts.

Music is officially dead.

With the shittyness that is Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie and Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, I declare this year the worst in music history.

Source via ONTD

Diego Luna Hosting Latin VMA's

Diego Luna's going to be the host of the Latino VMA's later this month. The broadcast will be airing on MTVTres on October 18th.

This will be his third time hosting the event. He hosted in 2002 and 2003.

God, I love him.

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Hotness

Hotness. I'm not sure about the beard, though. Speaking of, where's Rachel? Are they still together.

I kid, I don't think Ryan's gay at all. But I do think that Lars and the Real Girl looks like an amazing movie. I can't wait to see it.

Here's more of Ryan and company at the premiere of Lars and the Real Girl:

ANTM's Megan...

Here's a pic of Megan from ANTM Cycle 7. I always thought she would make it far and it sucks that she didn't, but at least she's working.

Not a lot of people like this shot, but I do. I think it's pretty amazing.

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They Better Thank DListed

The season premiere of Dexter gave Showtime its first ever show to score over $1 million viewers. The 9 p.m. show aired last Sunday and 1.09 million viewers tuned in, which is 67% more than the series premiere last year. Its second airing that night at 11 p.m. got 414,000 viewers. Congrats to all! Except for Showtime itself. They're still on my shit list for canceling Dead Like Me.

I looooooove Dexter and can't wait to see how things unfold this season.

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Michie's Gonna Have To Get Off The Booze...

Yet another sequel to the Fast and the Furious is being talked about, but this time they want to reunite Vin Diesel and Paul Walker.

The fourth installment in the franchise is being directed, written, and produced by the same guys who did the third one.

I love me some Walker. I'll pass on the Diesel.

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Do We Really Want To See This?

In Touch Weekly is reporting that Brit-tit's got a sex tape out. Shocking.

A guy who met Britney while she was on vacation in June has told In Touch that he made a video of them having sex — and the tape might become public. So far, the only thing, he claims, holding him back from releasing the video is that he was so disappointed by his own performance, he is embarrassed to let the rest of the world see it! The 28-year-old man, who was living on Hawaii’s Big Island at the time, says he left his camera rolling without Britney’s knowledge as they became intimate at a bungalow at the Four Seasons hotel on the Kona-Kohala Coast on June 7.

My stomach isn't feeling so well and I'm guessing this is the reason why. I do not need to see her coochie and cesarean scar more than I already have.

P.S. - I totally guessed right on whether Britney was good in bed. She's lazy crazy not crazy crazy.

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Let's Roll In The F-Listers!

The Fox Reality Channel Awards were yesterday and the F-Listers came out to play! Let's go through some of the "big names" there.

Adrianne Curry and Chris Knight.

I had a moment where I thought he was kind of hot, especially in that Brady Movie, but age hit both of them hard. Adrianne is usually hot so I don't know what happened to her last night.

It's Chris Crocker, bitches.

Um, sweetie, you should really start to blend the lip liner with the lipstick/gloss. That whole darker color around your lips just looks like you've just given a fabulous blowjob and that's never a good red carpet look.

Bobby Trendy.

Speaking of Ana Nicole. Bobby Trendy is fucking gorgeous and I don't care what anybody says. Anybody who decorated an entire wall with pink and white fur is a winner in my book.

Perez Hilton.

DAMN! What happened to your face! Am I completely out of the loop? Because I have no idea why he has a black eye.

Here are some more pics from the event:

Brit-tit Gets Her License

Huh?

Derek Jeter is reportedly dating Gabrielle Union. UPGRADE!

Derek has dated Jessica Alba, Jordana Brewster, Vanessa Minilo, Mimoo, and Scarlet Johanson, all pretty much skanks so Gabrielle is an upgrade in a BIG way for him.

It's good to see the future father of some of my children with someone with more than half a brain.

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Lily Acts Like A Douche. What's New?

Lily Allen performed at a secret show sponsored by Braun hair care, which she is currently the spokesperson for.

Onstage she was her usual self, you know, forgetting her lyrics, not knowing what day it was and getting drunk off her ass.

“I sound like a cat being swung around on its tale, it's because I haven't been singing in so long.”

Uh, that's not the reason you sound horrible, Lily. Blame the champs.

After the "performance" she headed over to the Groucho Club with Kate Moss, exiting with a "suspicious white substance around her nose". I'm thinking it's just snot:

She then told the paps that "I'll give you a £1,000 if you don't take a picture of my mate Kate.” Nobody took her up on that offer.

Then, to make matters worse, she put out her lit cigarette out on one of their camera lenses:

Oh Lily. What happened to the days where you just shit talked about Paris and made brazilliant music?

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Strawberry Is The Best

Amy Winehouse grabs a milkshake at Mickey D's on her way to the recording studio in London.

Those artificial strawberry shakes were the flippin' best. I hate that they make them out of real strawberries now. At least, it tastes like real strawberries. Artificial strawberries are so much better than the real ones.

Sigh. Now I want some strawberry milk.

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BIG SATC Spoilers!!!

If you can't want and want to get spoiled about what happens in SATC...

Speaking of Ana Nicole

Howard K. Stern is suing Rita Crosby because of the allegations she made in her book, “Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith’s Death“.

Rita wrote that Howard and Larry Birkhead were in cahoots and bumping uglies and that there was a video of the two of them together, which Ana used to watch and laugh at.

Howard is asking for $10 million in compensatory damages and $50 million in punitive damages. $60 million! DAMN!

Whoever has that tape of them together needs to leak that shit ASAP. Mama's in hot water, now!

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Disturbing?

A new picture has popped up on the internet of Ana with her eyes closed and vomit coming out of her mouth. Nobody is sure if she's alive or if she's dead.

I wasn't going to post it because the picture is disturbing but decided to post a link to the picture. That whole story is so creepy and so full of lies and betrayel that it's gotten past the point of being slightly creepy to being highly disturbing.

Anyways, click here to check out the picture. CAUTION. It's not a small picture and it is graphic.

Just Because: Christian Bale

My Indian Gay Baby!!!

How my heart sings when I see my little Sanjaya! Oh, bless him! I can live another day knowing my Sanjaya is working his way up the F-List!

Sanjaya attended the Fox Reality Channel Awards in L.A. and was surounded by the hotness that is Hottie (Flavor of Love), Janice Dickinson, Brook Hogan, and his sister.

Punky's Prego!

Soleil Moon Frye is expecting her second baby with her husband, Jason Goldberg. The couple already have a two year old daughter named Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg.

Congrats on catching the baby fever!

The Final Frontier

An asteroid has been renamed after George Takei. The asteroid which was discovered by two japanese astronomers in 1994 and named 1994 GT9. It has now been renamed to 7307 Takei.

"I am now a heavenly body," Takei, 70, said Tuesday, laughing. "I found out about it yesterday. ... I was blown away. It came out of the clear, blue sky — just like an asteroid."

Awe congrats! I loooooooove George almost as much as I love my Oracle. Can't wait to hear him back on Stern.

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I Told Ya

Orlando's rep has denied rumors that he is dating Jennifer Anniston.

"This is 100 percent not true. They were both in Mexico along with many others to attend a wedding of a friend who works at the management company where ... [they] are represented."

Others in attendance at the wedding were Natalie Portman, Laura Linney, Zoe Saldana, and Kate Bosworth.

Tolda ya. And I didn't even have to reveal my source, lol.

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Who Woulda Thunk

Beyonce's baby sis, Solange is no longer together with her husband/baby daddy. Shocking.

In an interview with Essence.com, Solange comes clean about her marriage.

Well, I am no longer married, but I think it’s very important not to dish details. We are friends and we coparent our son. When he gets older I don’t want him to read anything about me saying anything about his father or vice versa. When there’s a child involved I think the less information given is best.

Is that an F-list celebrity not bashing their ex? Wow, she took the high road. How very un-hollywood of her. I love Solange way more than I love Beyonce. She seems like the smarter of the two sisters. Sure, she can be mental, but that's what's fun about her.

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Being The Dad That Oscar Isn't

Travis takes the kids out to pick some pumpkins for Halloween. Travis is the father of (almost) four year-old Landon and 21 month-old Alabama and step-father to eight year-old Atiana, who's biological father, Oscar de la Hoya, barely even acknowledges.

Travis is nuts (hello! he effed Paris) but he seems to be a good dad and that's more than we can say for some people.

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Images via Celebrity Babylon

First Pic of Charlotte's Baby!

Charlotte Church and hubby pose for OK! magazine with their new baby, Ruby Megan.

See, they grow into their cuteness. Ruby is almost two weeks old and is starting to look adorable.

Congrats to all!

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This Is How It's Done, Ladies

Cate Blanchett rocked it out at the premiere of Elizabeth: The Golden Age. I've been waiting for like years for this movie to be made and can't wait to see it in the theater.

Some people hate her outfit (my mom said it looked like a bed sheet) but I love it. Her makeup is amazing, that color on her is amazing. Amazing head to toe.

Pretty In Pink

Liz Hurley showed her support for Breast Cancer Awareness and Estee Lauder at the Vancouver Art Gallery, where she spoke about how important it is to donate to the cause.

To find out more about what Estee Lauder is doing to support Breast Cancer Awareness, click here.

You Can't Hide Skank

Paris Hilton attended the James Blunt concert in Toronto and tried to fool everyone by wearing a brown wig and sunglasses. Um, yeah, if your disguise didn't work the first time, what makes you think it's going to work again?

Oh yeah, we're talking about Paris. Common sense isn't an issue.

Here are more pics of Paris with James Blunt and Alexa Vega:

I Fucking Love Bai Ling

Bai Ling's fucking nuts and I love it. Remember when she did that Karaoke show on VH1, or whatever it was. Her Like A Virgin performance was fucking amazing. Remind me to YouTube that.

Anyways, A couple of weeks ago I saw Bai Ling on the Chelsea Handler Show talking about Angelina and how much she loved her. The two worked on a couple of movies together, including Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Well, Bail is at it again. Bai spoke with Us Weekly about her love.

"I felt this energy between us, when we look at each other there's an energy, an attraction. Her eyes transfer a sexual energy to me that makes her irresistible."
You know these two got high on some shit while they filmed together. Angie used to be down like that. She then talks about how Angelina made her a promise and about them being lovers.

"Angelina said, 'Next time we'll play lovers. We could have hooked up, but it just wasn't the right time or place. But she told me, 'My heart's open to you.’"
Ten bucks she was high during that interview.

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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Sweeney Todd Trailer...

I hear rumblings on the net (IMDB, ONTD) about the trailer for Sweeney Todd being played before the new Ben Stiller movie, The Heartbreak Kid.

I say this is bullshit, created by The Heartbreak Kid's camp because they know this movie's going to suck. But if you're going to see the movie anyway, let me know if they do show it. And bring the camera just in case. I'll bail ya out.

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No More Nip Slips...Hopefully

Megan Good's boyfriend, Thomas Jones, who plays for the New York Jets, spoke to Hot 97 this morning and confirmed that Megan is pregnant.

Congrats to the happy couple catching the baby fever! Oh, wait, does this mean that Megan won't be seen without a bra by TMZ anymore?

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YES!!!!!

Spice World will be re-released on DVD for its 10th anniversary! I totally saw that in theatres. I was always Posh Spice when my friends and I would "perform" to their songs. Sigh. I'm so old.

Has anybody who signed up for the New York show gotten their ticket emails thingies? I haven't gotten mine yet... :-(

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I Would've Ditched The Bitch

LEAVE CHRIS CROCKER ALONE!!!

Brit-tit doesn't appreciate Chris Crocker and thinks his videos are insulting. A source tells Us Weekly that

"Britney does not think Chris Crocker is funny. She thinks he's creepy and that all his videos are an obvious attempt at fame. She finds it insulting and difficult to watch."

I think this is fake. I mean, does Britney have that much sense to realize that his videos are a shot at fame? How in the hell did she figure that out all by her lonesome? I mean, sure it's obvious to everybody else but this is Brit-tit we're talking about.

Chris still actually supports Britney, even though she's now lost custody of her children.

“My mom lost custody of me when she was younger and she got it back. She can always get it together again. She's not herself right now. It's a transitional time in her life. She's got time to change and she will."

Ugh, are his fifteen minutes over already? He's only funny when Seth Green is making fun of him.

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Just Do Like Michael And Use A Blanket.

Halle Berry spoke with Oprah about her baby and is realistic in how "hot" her baby's going to be.

"When you're pregnant, you have this idealized view of what the baby looks like. Head smashed, purple, one ear folded down, eyes swollen."

I undestand what Halle's talking about. She doesn't mean that she thinks her baby's going to turn out ugly, she's just saying that newborn, like literally newly born, babies aren't all that hot. I mean, they're ugly-cute. So ugly that they're cute. I've seen plenty of newborns (we Latino's love to breed) and they all look the same. Pink/purple, squished nose, wrinkly. They look like old men. That's not saying they won't turn hot (or not) but they're not all that cute to start out with.

Except for me.

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Ouch

Everytime I see an enormously pregnant woman all I can think of is ouch. I mean, I've never had a kid but I know if I do, I seriously want to be on every kind of drug possible for the labor.

The very pregnant Mila Jovavich attended the premiere for Resident Evil: Extinction in Las Vegas. She's ready to pop anytime soon and I suggest a lot of drugs.

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She Sure Does Love Balls Between Her Legs

Joking! STFU, she's legal and I'm allowed to say that shit.

Vanessa Hudgens kept her clothes on while attending the Best Buddies And Lucky Strike Lanes Strike Up A Friendship party.

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Wanna Smell Like A Womanizer?

Alejandro Sanz has jumped on the already jam-packed bandwagon of celebs who sell their own fragrances.

It's ok, I forgive him because I love him. Though I have to admit he looks a lot better with the beard.

Here are some more pictures of him at the launch of Siete by Alejandro Sanz:

DAMN! Someone Got FAT!

Clay Aiken attended the launch party for Jenna Bush's (the drunk one) new book and brought something unexpected with him...

a fat face!

Remember when he auditioned for American Idol and he was so skinny. See, that's what happens with skinny people, they eat anything they want, don't gain weight and then it hits them like a ton of bricks. It happend to X-Tina, remember? But he's been growing the fat for a while now, though.

More SATC Set Pics!

I swear, by the time the movie comes out we'll have seen every frame of it. Still can't wait! I know, I'm a dork.

You Know You Need Help When...

Mick Jagger is worried aboug you. Harsh! Mick, who is in the Rolling Stones with Keith Richards, voiced his opinions on Amy and her drug use.

"Amy is a brilliant artist who makes fantastic music. She has class. But I'm worried she might die if she goes down the road that she has taken."

Since when did Amy Winehouse have class? Did I miss something?

It's hilarious that Mick Jagger is talking about being scared for Amy when he's done drugs for years and hello! Where was he to give the same advice to Keith Richards?

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Everybody Already Knew

Lou Perlman, the man behind the *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys is a pedophile, according to Page 6. In an interview with former assistant and aspiring musician Steve Mooney, Page 6 discusses Perlman's inapropriate conduct with the young boys he mentored.

"I would absolutely say the guy was a sexual predator. All the talent knew what Lou's game was. Some guys joked about it. I remember [one singer] asking me, 'Have you let Lou [fellate] you yet?'"

Que Sucio! I grew up in Orlando around all of the boy band craze and knew some of the guys and he's right, it was a complete joke to them. I remember my friends and I were joking around saying we wanted to be in a girl group and one of the guys from a band said that Lou would never be interested because we didn't have anything to offer him. We didn't get it at first and then the guy I dated, who was in one of the bands, explained it to me later on.

Lou is already in a Florida Jail awaiting trial on fraud charges.

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Dear God, No!!

According to Ok! magazine, Pambo is pregnant! Oh. My. God. How could you let this happen, sweet baby jesus?!?!? I mean, Pambo? Rick Salomon? Paris Hilton? (you know she's the kind of dirty that don't wash off)

If Shiloh was the Messiah then a Soloman/Anderson baby has got to be the antichrist. And if it's a boy and they name him Damien, my ass is fleeing as far away as possible.

P.S. I put up that picture of The Oracle (aka Llora) for three reasons:

1) I really didn't want to see Pam with Rick together. Thoughs of them having sex would run through my mind and I'm too emotional frail to picture that at the moment.

2) She'd be the only one who could save us from their baby.

3) When I googled pictures of "Pamela Anderson Pregnant", I kept getting pictures of Prego Porn. Ugh.

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Monday, October 1, 2007

Hooray For Nipples!

I'm guessing the winners of ANTM don't actually work in the modeling industry, they just turn into professional party hosts/attendees.

Jaslene hosted yet another event, this time it was a Party at Cameo Nightclub in Miami Beach. It looks like her mom's basement.

Ew To The Max.

Dave Navarro has shot his first porn called Broken. Dave co-wrote and directed the flick.

"Broken, starring bisexual actress Sasha Grey, is "an erotic tale of sexual duality" that will push the boundaries of adult movies. (It is) being released by Tera Patrick's company, Teravision."

I used to think Dave Navarro was hot. Not so much, after he banged Bones.

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I Took Her Granola Bars. Happy?

Perfume Venezolano

Ex Miss Universe from Venezuela, Alicia Machado is jumping on the perfume bandwagon.

Alicia's going to be releasing her own scent.

Alicia is also known as the Miss Universe who gained weight during her reign and Donald Trump made her lose weight by jogging during a press conference. Classic.

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Priorities

Instead of going somewhere to see how to get her children back or how to get her life in order, Brit-tit goes tanning!

You know, because nobody wants to go in front of a judge (she has a court hearing on Wednesday) looking pale, y'all!

Update: Britney Spears has gotten her California Driver's License. She went in and took the written test.

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Mimoo Does Glamour

Glamour magazine really loves to photoshop people to death. Mimoo, who is usually already photoshopped loads graced the cover for the November issue and showed us her Hello Kitty room.

I love Helly Kitty, so maybe I shouldn't be the one to talk, but what the hell is a grown ass woman doing with a Hello Kitty room? Isn't she pretty much forty? I love me some Mariah but she's turning into the female version of Michael Jackson, minus the child molestation charges.

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Why Britney Lost Her Kids...

According to TMZ, Britney lost custody of her kids because she didn't do anything that the judges asked her to do.

She didn't meet up with a drug counselor, she didn't submit herself to drug testing, she didn't go to any parenting classes, she didn't sign the judge's order, and finally she drove her kids around without a valid license.

She pretty much gave her kids away. I'm thinking maybe she wanted that all along and did it the fucked up way instead of just handing them over to not "look bad". But in the end she looks worse because instead of taking responsibility for her actions she doesn't and says "Fuck You" to the judge, which isn't cool.

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Haaaahaaaa!

This is why most remakes are bad ideas.

Jessica Simpson tried to remake 9-5 and name it Blonde Ambition. The movie was first set for a theatrical release but it got such bad reviews that they decided to send it straight to DVD.

Now, it's not even going to be released on DVD, it's going to be on sale on QVC. They should just skip that and air it late night on Showtime.

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No, No, No, NO NO NO!

Robert Rodriguez is set to direct the remake and has reportedly cast the ho he left his wife for, Rose McGowan, as the lead.

DO NOT REMAKE BARBARELLA! It's going to suck! You can't remake classics like that because they're classics! It's almost as bad as if they try to remake Rocky Horror Picture Show! It will not work! And as much as I like Rose McGowan, she will NEVER be able to fill Jane Fonda's fur bikini. And no, I'm not talking about pubes.

I blame Quentin Tarantino for this. If he hadn't cast Rose in Grindhouse he would've never left his wife and we wouldn't have to deal with this now.

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Don't Be Fooled By The Rocks That He Got

Ben Affleck has said that his career has suffered because of his relationship with Jello. In a recent interview with Details magazine, Ben points out what the whole world already knew:

“It was probably bad for my career. What happens is this sort of bleed-over from the tabloids across your movie work. You go to a movie, you only go once. But the tabloids and Internet are everywhere. You can really subsume the public image of somebody. I ended up in an unfortunate crosshair position where I was in a relationship and [the media] mostly lied and inflated a bunch of salacious stuff for the sake of selling magazines. And I paid a certain price for that. Then, in concert with some movies that didn’t work . . .”

Yeah, no shit. I like Ben Affleck, he seems like a cool guy but that whole Bennifer "era" was disgusting. Ugh, remember the Jenny From The Block video where he kisses her ass?

Read the rest of the article at the source

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X-Tina's New Perfume Ad

What the hell is up with all of these celebs putting out perfumes? I mean, who wants to smell like Brit-tit, Paris, Puffy, Mimoo, Usher, Gwen Stefani, or X-Tina?

Liz Taylor did it first and better.

Anyways, all aside it's a hot ad, but I'm partial to X-Tina.

You Know You're A Bad Mother When...

You lose custody of your children to Kevin Federline.

Britney Spears has temporarily lost custody of her two sons, Sean Prestin and Jayden James after Kevin Federline's lawyers went in front of the judge because Britney was driving around California with her kids in the back. Problem with that is that Brit-tit doesn't have a California driver's license.

Side note: I was totally at the DMV all afternoon trying to renew mine. I watched Reaper last week where they said that the DMV was a portal to hell. Yeah, right on the money there.

Anyway, the judge awarded KFed temporary custody until further notice starting today at noon.

I used to feel bad for Britney because she's a mom and I'm sure on some level she loves her kids. But her behavior is insane.

How, knowing you don't have a driver's license, knowing that your every move is pretty much documented by the paparazzi, knowing that you're in danger of getting your children taken away, haven't gotten your license and done anything to try and improve your behavior.

I know people say she's crazy, but how crazy can you be not to realize that you're on a complete downward spiral? She's like Christy from Intervention (click play below; best episode EVER!)

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Amy's Friends Hate Blake

Amy Winehouse's friends are trying to get her to break it off with her husband, Blake.

According to a source, Blake left Amy's side at the hospital during the weekend she OD'd. Apparently Blake needed a fix so he went to get high.

Who knows whether this is true or not but they both need help, cause we all know crackheads never leave each other.

BOBBYYYYY!

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Haaaahaaa!

Rachel Zoe has been dropped from her agency because they didn't want to piss off Anna Wintour. Rachel was stated as saying a couple of months ago that "Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I'm more influential . . . As great as it is, Vogue won't change a designer's business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week."

Haaahaaa! This is the same crazy bitch that was dropped by Nicole Richie, too.

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Spice Power!

Tickets to the Spice Girl concert in London sold out in 38 seconds. 38 seconds! It takes longer for the oracle to take a poo! I soooo signed up to see them in NYC so hopefully I'll be one of the few that are picked. I registered with like five different email addresses. ::fingers crossed::

They're already thinking about adding more dates to the tour

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Itati Getting Married

Mexican actress Itati Cantoral announced that she will be getting married next December to Colombian producer Carlos Alberto Cruz.

Itati has been married before to Eduardo Santamarina. They have twin sons together.

Congratulations Itati and good luck!

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Jello Confirms Pregnancy....Sort Of

Jello sat down with Invincible Magazine where they (of course) asked her if she was pregnant.

Invincible: Are you pregnant?
Lopez: No…next question

Invincible: Come on J.Lo we are all family now and everyone is bound to find out at some stage and what is the point hiding it? Are you?
Lopez: Maybe…and that’s all you are getting (she smiles.)

Invincible: I take that as a yes…Thank you so much for having us…
Lopez: No, thank you.

Is she trying to play coy? Ugh, she's a little too old to be playing coy. I mean, isn't she like forty? If she didn't want to talk about it just say "No Comment" instead of playing this maybe, maybe not game.

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Aaaaaaaah!

Britney's got a new song. Sort of. I'm guessing this is a rough cut of a song called Piece of Me but rough cut or not it's HORRIBLE. I almost didn't want to post it because that would mean that I would have to listen to the song again. Check it out but I have to warn you, it may induce vomiting and cause your ears to bleed.

Cucaracha With My Man En Mexico

Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom spent the weekend in Mexico together, but don't bet on them dating. I have a source VERY close to one of the parties listed above and she states that they are absolutely not dating. The two share a publicist and it was just a friendly vacation.

Though they aren't a couple, I'm thinking them hooking up would be fucking brilliant, though my source would disagree. Think about it, he's a younger guy, he worked with her ex-husband in Troy, he has the potential to be hotter...

Just Because: Milo Ventimiglia

The Beckham's Are Back

Posh and Becks are back in L.A. after going to London to be with David's dad after he suffered a heart attack.

Ted Beckham is said to be doing fine and on the road to recovery.

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Set Your Tivo's, Bitches!

Tyra Banks is set to interview Barack Obama. She's the next Diane Sawyer, isn't she.

Tyra's going to be discussing interesting thinks with Barack like how to make your waist look smaller and your forehead look less noticeable and how to correctly attach a wig with wig glue.

I kid, I kid. He's going to be answering questions that were sent in online and his daughters are going to discuss presidential fashion with Tyra. I'm not joking about that one.

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Zac Re-Grows His Beard

Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens are seemingly back together. I didn't even know they broke up. Have they even said they were dating? I'm so confused. Shut up, it's early.

Anyways, tweens around the world can breathe a sigh of relief. Their it couple is together and doing fine until more naked pictures of Vanessa surface on the internet.

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Oh Hellll No!

Evander Holyfield is going to be taking on George Foreman and his ultimate grilling machine.

"I've got a George Foreman grill. It's a good grill," Holyfield, 44, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "But don't you think the latest grill is supposed to be the best grill?"

Since when did selling grills on infomercials at three in the morning become so competitive? I mean, can't they all just get along? Actually, NO! Fuck that, the Foreman grill is the shit. I want the ultimate kind with the different plates (pictured above). I have a purple one now with e a bun heater. Sigh. No I feel like having a hot dog.

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Dissed!

Jessica Simpson wanted to sing a duet with Reba Mcintyre for Reba's duets CD. Well, according to the National Ledger, Reba said no.

"Jess thought she had been passed over because Reba would be singing with older, more established artists," a source close to Jessica tells OK. "She was devastated when she found out that Kelly Clarkson was invited to be part of the project."

Even though Reba's rep says that Jessica never tried to contact them about a duet, you totally know that Reba didn't want to work with that skank. I mean, five years ago, maybe. But now, hell no.

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ANTM: The Girls Go Green

It’s the first real episode of ANTM and boy was it eventful(sarcasm).

The theme this year is not only the future of fashion, but “green”, meaning the girls get taught about the environment and Tyra gets to be known as a hero because she’s promoting being eco-friendly to the world...

When the girls first get to L.A., they are greeted at the Fashion District by Mr. J who told them about “going green” this cycle. He leads them outside to check out their new bio-diesel bus.

How many times did they flash the bio-diesel on the bus? Tyra really has to make the point across, which brings us to the Quote of the Week by Mila!

“I’m pretty supportive about the environmental kick and it really is important to just be aware about what keeps our earth good.”

The girls arrive at the house where the entire house is decked out in the “green theme”.

Lisa then says that she was in foster care and had never been in a house like that before. I love how they paired that with Lisa falling into the pool.

Lisa, Saleisha and Bianca have fun pretending to be at elimination where Saleisha ~~makes fun~~ imitates Tyra during elimination. I love that Bianca points out that she “even does the blink” because that seriously annoyed me about Tyra. Ugh, put some eye-drops in or something.

Bianca then makes a comment in the “confessional” about how Lisa doesn’t have what it takes to be a model. This coming from a girl with purple hair and over-plucked eyebrows.

The next day the girls are taken to the studio where Mr. J tells them that they’re going to be doing a PSA photo shoot showing the hazards of smoking.

Since when did ANTM have a point? I thought it was all about making fun of awkward girls on their journey to realizing that they’re pretty enough to model and then telling 12 out of the 13 that they aren’t pretty enough to be a model and then shoving the winner into the last two minutes of their fifteen minutes of fame?

We interrupt this program to bring you this:

DAMN! Mike Rosenthal is HOT! Why haven’t I noticed this before? Sigh.

We conclude this announcement and return to the scheduled program.

The girls each have different side effects caused by smoking but I’m still stumped as to why they gave Mila and Jenah pretty much the same one when there are so many other side-effects caused by smoking.

Kimberly then showed the first signs of cunti-ness by saying that Heather was “gorgeous” but that she there was “something off” about her. Kimberly needs to shut the fuck up. Seriously. But we’ll get to her later.

Mila. Poor little Mila. I don’t blame her for laughing. I mean she did look like Bozo and uh, she has blonde hair. Why’d the give her a brown wig?

He's so freaking hot:

While asking Victoria what she thought of this face:

Bianca went into attacking Lisa’s “authenticity” calling her phony and saying she tries too hard. Again, this coming from someone with purple weave.

Is she trying to be a broke-down Jade?

God, I miss her.

And of course Tyra exploits the girl with Aspergers, who is awkward around people, by putting her in a photo with another person. Let’s just throw her in there and see what reaction we get out of it!

Mr. J shows Kimberly what not to do:

Lisa asks Victoria if she was going to practice posing and Victoria says that she’s going to wing it. I like her. She knows it’s just a modeling competition and it’s not the end of the world if she does badly in a photo.

But I have to ask, how many times do you think they’re going to mention that Victoria’s from Yale throughout the entire cycle? I’m guessing 97, but I tend to lowball things.

While getting the screencaps I saw this shot:

and thought it deserved some work:

Fabulous, I say.

After Lisa was done with her photo shoot, Bianca asked if she thought she did better than her. Lisa said she thought she did well and Bianca said she didn’t think she did.

This starts an argument between the girls where Lisa told Bianca that she was conceited. Bianca went into yelling at Lisa, calling her a 20 year-old stripper and saying that she would never win and to just go home. Lisa starts crying and Ebony and Saleisha literally wipe her tears away.

First of all Bianca’s a hoodrat. She needs to STFU. Second of all, Lisa needs to be proud of being a stripper. Strippers are fun. I mean, look at Heather.

Mr. J comes in and gives the girls advice via voice-over. I hate that they do so much voice “dubbing” in this show. For those who don’t know, that’s when they don’t show the person speaking and you can tell the sound coming out isn’t what was said on location. They had to go back in and record some dubbing over the show. Got it? Good.

Ok, so the girls get back to the house and Lisa decides to confront Bianca about their fight and “squash” it. Bianca, of course, is always thinking and pretends to “squash” it because it might come up during elimination.

America’s Thinker, ladies and gentlemen.

The girls then take turns discussing Heather and her chances in this competition, the fact that she isn’t picking up after herself, and that she lacks social skills. They all need to shut up because in all honesty they sound extremely ignorant.

Except for Mila! She’s really open minded and gives everybody a shot. A shot of what, I have no idea but it’s a shot!

Still, don’t talk about people while they’re there so they can hear you. Talk about them behind their backs like normal human beings, that way you don't look bad.

Later that day (or whenever) Miss J, looking very unlike her usual self:

comes to visit the girls and tells them that they’re going to be heading to Old Navy for a little shopping spree. I don’t care what anybody says, old navy is the shit. Where else can you get (kind of) good quality flip-flops for $2.50? What? I’m from Florida.

The girls head to Old Navy where they’re greeted by Benny Ninja, the Prince look-like that showed the girls how to vogue and pose last season:

The girls are then given ten minutes to put together an outfit to be judged on later that night at elimination using whatever was in the store.

After the girls get back from the house there’s (of course) Tyra Mail where she tells them there’s going to be elimination the following night. The girls (mainly Kimberly) then proceed to talk more shit about Heather.

First of all sweetie, those type of people have different behaviors and shouldn’t be lumped. Not every person “like that” clings. And while we’re at it, it’s cling, not clinks. Idiot.

And if they wanted to break my heart even more, Heather calls her mom and cries about not being able to trust the girls. Her mom, sounding like the sweetest person ever, tells her to keep her head up and "be nice" to the other girls.

It's elimination time!!! During elimination the judges judged the girls on the outfits they chose in Old Navy.

During Victoria's judging Twiggy says that judging by her picture, you would never be able to tell Victoria is so shy and insecure. Victoria corects her by saying that she's soft-spoken, but not insecure. This is another reason I love Victoria. She can give it to the judges without being a complete bitch. I love how Twiggy and Nigel got pissed when she stood up to herself.

Quote of the Week #2!!! (I know, but I had to pick two)

“This shot here looks like you just farted and you just lifted up off the seat.”

I love how they called Ebony out on being a bitch during casting and they’re now calling her out on trying not to be a bitch during the competition. Are we sure Tyra and co. aren’t bi-polar?

The winner of the Old Navy dress yourself challenge is Saleisha. She gets to be in an Old Navy ad and gets a $1000 shopping spree there. Gap ads are better.

During deliberation, Tyra told the judges that Heather has "assburgers" syndrome. How many times do you think Tyra’s going to point out Heather’s “assburgers” syndrome throughout the entire competition?

In a shocking twist (har har), Tyra decides to ban smoking in this cycle. Bad news, smoking bitches, you’re all gonna get fat! And even bitchier!

The last two standing ended up being Ebony and Mila because (of course) they were both pretty girls who didn't know how to translate that into pretty pictures. Ugh.

Snot, snot, drip drip.

In the end, poor little happy Mila got cut. I was wrong, she didn’t cry, but she did tear up.

Expect more bitching from Bianca next week and another ho to cry.

For another seriously hilarious review of ANTM check out Four Four.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Please God, Don't Let Them Procreate

Rick Salomon (Paris Hilton's ex sex tape partner) and Pamela Anderson (resident blonde bimbo) have gotten a marriage license in Las Vegas.

Wasn't this whore just married to Kid Rock like a second ago? Is she trying to be the low-rent Liz Taylor? NEVER. Liz has class.

According to Pam the two have known each other for fifteen years. Pam's been married to Kid Rock and Tommy Lee and Rick was married to Shannon Doherty.

Eww. The sheets. I would go on strike, if I were her maid.

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Who Won Rock Of Love.....

Was it "80's Porn Hair" Heather or "Clavical" Jess?

Find out after the jump!

It was Jess! I knew she was going to win, though I loved Heather and her "80's Porn Hair".

Ten bucks they're not really together at the reunion.

Another ten for Heather getting her own "Rock Of Love" show.

A Dog In Cat's Clothing

Tori Spelling dogged up the Pussycat Dolls in Las Vegas at club Pure when she performed as a guest Doll at the Pussycat Dolls lounge. Quick, say something nice.

Uh, hmmmm....the bra is cute and distracts away from her face. That and her body looks awesome post-baby.

I have to confess that I'm totally obsessed with Tori & Dean: Inn Love. There's nothing on at like five in the morning and it's the best thing to watch while doing the laundry and folding clothes. I watch it on Demand. I know, I know.

Speaking Of Rock Of Love

The final episode hasn't even finished airing and they're already casting for a new season of Rock of Love, though they won't say who it's going to be with.

The ROCKSTAR starring with you is yet to be determined, but have you ever dreamed of dating someone like Tommy Lee, Dave Navarro, Mark McGrath, Kid Rock, Nikki Sixx or any other hot famous sexy rocker? This could be your chance!

I should totally audition for this. Shut up, I can be a "rocker chick", I've got two tattoos and everything. Word.

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Speaking Of ANTM...

Dani was in Avon. At least she's getting work. You don't really see a lot of these girls actually working.

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Someone Needs To Work On Her Posing

CariDee attended the AMFAR Rocks Benefit in New York, whoring out the carpet as always.

This girl annoys me because I loved her on the show but all she does is attend events. Well, maybe that's a good thing. We do not need to see this chick on the runway.

What The?!?!!!!?

Courts in Austria have denied a petition to make Mathew Heisl Pan, a chimp, legally declared a human being. Thank god for smart judges. If only we had a few more in the U.S....

The chimp belongs to a shelter which had to file bankruptcy protection earlier this year and although donations have tried to be made, only people in Austria are allowed to accept gifts. Animal activists fear that the chimp might be sold out of the country where he's now protected by strict animal cruelty laws.

Uh no. No, no no. I'm sorry, send the chimp to Jane Goodall or something, you cannot declare an animal a person. I understand people want to help out but let's not be ridiculous about things. People do not sit in fake trees and throw poo at other people.

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Rock Of Love

Who do you think'll win Rock of Love with Bret Michaels?

I so want Heather to win because she's fucking mental and sooooo Jersey. But he'll either pick Jess or both of them.

Don't Hurt Me, I Heart Gay People

David Hans Schmidt, the man that tried to extort money from Tom Cruise by wanting to try to sell unreleased pictures from his wedding to Katie Holmes, has been found dead in a shower in an Arizona condominium. It appears that he hung himself in the shower.

David had gotten the pictures from a computer repairman who found the pictures on the broken harddrive of a photographer. David had then contacted Tom Cruise and tried to extort him out of $1 million or he would release the pictures. David was also the man behind the sextapes of Tonya Harding, Screech (Dustin Diamond), Colin Farrel, and some compromising pictures of Jaime Foxx. Jaime Foxx told Howard Stern last week that he paid David off so the pictures would not be released.

I have this theory on Scientology that I discussed with a Porn Star once. I told her that I thought Scientology was really a "hiding place" for Hollywood's most powerful gays, where they form somewhat of a society to help with hiding their sexuality and whatnot and she said it's that but it's also just a religion made for tax benifits because they more you donate to a church the bigger the tax credit.

If I could ever have an out of body experience and watch myself do anything that I've done in my life, that convo would be top five. Watching two drunk bitches discuss religion, politics, makeup and celebrities is highly entertaining.

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Please Let This Be True

Friends of Brit-tit have been urging her to go to rehab for the past couple of months and now they want her to try the Cirque Lodge Rehab Clinic because they see what it's done for Lindsay Lohan.

Seriously.

Can you imagine those two in rehab together? I'm keeping a bag packed because if that shit goes down, I'm telling daddy to send me to Cirque Lodge. Harry Potter is a valid addiction that requires serious medical attention. What?

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Listen To This: Paolo Nutini

I have to admit that I was late in discovering Paolo Nutini. I was way too into Mika and Lily and Amy and just kind of brushed over Paolo. But then I heard Last Request and fell in love.

Check out Last Request by Paolo Nutini below.

Someone Buy Me An ATT IPhone

Please? I have a Helio which was supposed to be all techno'ed out but the IPhone looks pretty groovy and takes better pictures. But to give my Helio credit that was taken in my dark living room with a flash. Sigh.

The Oracle loves having her picture taken. I call her my little Naomi Campbell. You can probably guess why.

Please Don't Let This Be True...

There are a couple of rumors around saying that Eva Longoria has a sextape out there. The tape, which isn't available online yet, is of Eva with an unknown male.

If it's true, ten bucks it's with J.C. Chasez. He just got dropped from his record label and is in some serious need of publicity.

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