Wednesday, August 15, 2007

India celebrates its 60th anniversary of its independence from Britain. Whoot whoot!

First of all, Mandy Moore's boring. Why the hell have I written about her three times today. Somebody made a deal with the devil...

Second of all, ew. I'm amused by John Mayer. Sometimes he's hot, sometimes he's funny, mostly he's just annoying, but this "couple" is just all wrong.

Fina-fucking-ly! Although she isn't scrubbing the toilets (damnit) she's walking around Utah with a friend. First pics since the ones she shot for the LAPD (aka her mugshot). I wish her good look and all but isn't rehab supposed to not let you out?

No, not another penis, another person to lip synch along with them! Why in the hell do they need another person? Publicity stunt, much?

P.S. I know there are other members of the group (obviously) but he's just so pretty I had to post a solo shot. Sigh.

Everybody and their mother is covering Rihanna's Umbrella. The song actually grew on me, I used to hate it but now it's ok. John West's version is the best I've heard so far, click Play below to listen. Mandy Moore still freaks me out, especially when they close up on her eyes. Her version isn't half bad, though.

F to the U to the G to the L to the Y

An aside...

When did Juanes get ugly?

Foxy Brown was arrested yesterday after beating some ho with a Blackberry. I kid you not. She knocked that bitch's teeth out and everything y'all. The above picture is from a previous arrest for beating up her nail lady.

Mexican Rocker Alejandra Guzman had a lump in her breast removed. Her doctor's say that everything is ok and she should be doing better soon. GET WELL SOON!

God I love her, especially the whitening strips bit.

I've never really liked Mandy Moore. A couple of my friends went to school with her at Bishop Moore in Orlando and she was an uber-cunt so I'm totally not buying the whole humility thing from her. Besides, she's boring.

Here she is with the douche of all douches Billy Crudup. You know, the one who left his pregnant girlfriend (Nancy from Weeds) for Claire Daines. Ugh.

I love me some Alexyss Tyler. She's this local chat show host from Atlanta and she's a crazy bitch, but she speaks the truth. Here's a clip from one of her more recent shows discussing monster penises and the gays.

P.S. The lady next to her is her mom. I KNOW!

P.P.S. My favorite Alexyss quote of all time is this:
"We're hooked on the Penis Power and this man won't even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver and that plate's what, $2.99? But he can give you a mouth full of sperm and a rectum full of sperm. We have to see what our issue is, because a man like that does not respect a woman."

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Last night on The Hills Spencer (the douche) proposed to Heidi (the stupid whore). Not only is the show fake but so is her engagement ring. Douche got that shit at Ice Accessories, which you saw on the show last night, for $770.00! Now, I know that's a nice chunk of change but not for an engagement ring. And on top of that those aren't even real diamonds, they're made in a lab so it's basically cubic zirconia y'all. Again, you know my happy ass would rock it hardcore but the whore and the douche are supposed to be "living the big life". HAAAHAAAAA!

Oh. My. God.

If you don't know what a Bear is, then you're probably a heterosexual male. A Bear is a kind of hairy muscular man man in the gay community. Or just watch the video and you'll know exactly what a Bear is. Here's the first ManBand made up of Bears from Holland, Bearforce1. That shit will now be playing on loop in my head.

My new hero

Literally. Bitch is fierce, don't hate. Trina was at the OZone Awards in Miami yesterday, saving the day, apparently.

This is a video of a lion who was raised by these two dudes and then released into the wild. A year later they came back and found the lion and the lion totally remembered them. How freaking cute is that? Sigh. I can't even get Llora to remember me when that bitch escapes from the apartment. Picture my ass running after a retarded black lab. Let that process.

The Mexican mom to be is planning three wedding ceremonies. One in Mexico, one in France and one in Los Angeles. I give the marriage 14 months. Her heart belongs to Penelope.

You don't have to keep pretending anymore. Really, it's ok. Vuela, plumitas, vuela! Here's Enriquita on tour trying (emphasis on that one) to prove he's straight.

Guess the ass

This bitch never ceases to amaze me. On the plus side, she is wearing panties. Woohoo for that. Silver lining, bitches, silver lining.

I am in love

How cute is that puppy!

LiLo in Maxim

Pre drug bust (second one). She looks good, but we all know what happened after that shoot....

For more click here

Wasn't she in jail. Shouldn't she be still in jail? My cousin used to love this crazy bitch. Me, not so much. There's Brit-tit crazy (which I love) and then there's Gloria crazy (which I'm scared of).

Amy Winehouse, my favorite little crackhead, has finally entered rehab. This after a megahit song where she sings about not going to rehab. Good for her, she's got an amazing voice and wait a minute fuck that shit. Crack was the best thing to happen to Whitney Houston. We would've never heard about Bobby and her dookie bubble if it weren't for the cocaina.

Here's Amy with JayZ with Rehab:

Paris Hilton sold her house for $4.25 million. Herpes included.

I swear, I'm obsessed. It's just amazing to me that Ano's can actually get pregnant. That was mean but come on, honestly. She went out to dindin last night with Mischa Barton.

I can't believe I haven't written about Brit-tit-tit yet! This puts me in the mood to shave my head, get nappy weave and suck on some acid laced lolipops. Anyway, KFed is getting everyone in the world to testify against Brit-tit. Her ex (or current, or whatever) has been added to the list as well as Alli Sims her "cousin". Word is he's trying to get 70-30 custody in his favor, which means the kids are going to be with him 70% of the time. Fuck that shit, give me those babies. Llora the dog can take better care of them.

Here's the first look at Naomi and Liev's baby. He's not so cute but I'll give him time. She looks pretty good, considering she was enormous during her pregnancy. That shit used to pain even me.

YAY! It's X-Tina's baby bump. I know we've seen it already but it's been a while and that white spandex number she had on for the tour gave me nightmares.

There's something about her that I can't stand. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Plus she's not as hot shit as she thinks she is.

Here's Nicole Richie looking cute during pregnancy. You can't really see the bump with that dress but she looks cute regardless. Plus I love the sunglasses.

Monday nights used to be boring but ever since Heroes came along they've been pretty good. Last night was the premiere of Weeds, and I have to say that show is fucking amazing. It keeps getting better and better with every season. So does Big Love, surprisingly. The season finale is in two weeks but they've moved to Sunday nights, probably to replace the horrible John From Cincinnati. I tried watching it for a bit but got sooooooo tired of it all. And rounding out the list is The Hills, which isn't necessarily good television but it is entertaining. I know it's fake, I know they're "acting" but I can't get enough of those stupid hos. Sigh.

If you haven't gotten Mika's debut album Life in Cartoon Motion, you're really missing out. I've got a new favorite track on there, Over My Shoulder. LOVE IT!