Saturday, October 27, 2007

Oh, Alfie



Lily Allen's brother, Alfie, has been cast as the new lead in Equus. Daniel Radcliffe had the role earlier this year in the play. Alfie will be starting his run on January 31st. Alfie has starred in Atonement with Keira Knightley.

First of all, his teefs need major work. Second of all, who needs to see that naked? I know, it's about the art and not about the peen but seriously.

P.S. - My friend saw Equus with DanRad and said that you could totally tell he "chubbed up" for the play because it deflated over the evening.

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Here are the pics for Kim Kardashian's Playboy shoot. Why does her ass not look as big as it normally does. Maybe it is true that it's fake. Or maybe Playboy photoshopped the hell out of it. I'm going with a little of both.

P.S. - That shoot looks like something out of the early nineties.

Check them out after the jump!





A Virgin?



Russel Crow says that while he was filming The Quick and the Dead with Leoanardo DiCaprio, Leo told him that he was a virgin.

"You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 17 on 'The Quick and the Dead [1995],' " says Crowe. "He was a virgin, and he'd talk about that constantly. So I'm hoping we have some time so he can fill in what's happened in between, maybe show some photos, because I'm sure life's different now."

I call bullshit. Why? Because Leonardo dated Juliette Lewis when he was filming What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, which he filmed before The Quick and the Dead, and everyone knows that she's a ho, Ew, now that I think about it, what if she took his virginity? Oh dear god.

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Friday, October 26, 2007

Orlando Safe



Orlando Bloom will not face hit and run charges from the accident he had earlier this month. It was earlier reported that he was being investigated by the LAPD after they viewed videos of Orlando walking away from the scene and the evidence was turned into the D.A. But the D.A. has decided not to prosecute given lack of evidence and because Orlando was not intoxicated during the accident. He was actually trying to get away from the paparazzi, which is what caused the accident.

And a source close to Orlando actually tells me exclusively that Orlando was also trying to get the paparazzi away from his friends, who were injured in the accident, seeing as he or they didn't want their picture taken in that state.

I'm glad this is over. It was kind of a bullshit case, in my opinion.

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Chris Crocker pulls a Britney pulling a Paris. I've seen Chris's Crocker before, but this is just so wrong, especially since he's in that outfit. If you want to permanantly scar your eyes, click the pics for the uncensored version.

P.S. - I got tired of the pussy so I replaced it with a cock. Happy?

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I'm so sick and tired of hearing the back and forth between Noelia, her ex and sex tape partner Yamil, her mother Yolandita Monge and Yolandita's husband, Topy Mamery. I know I guess I'm contributing to it by spreading the gossip and giving them more publicity, but whatever.

Topy is now suing Noelia and her new manager/producer boyfriend Jorge Reynoso for defamation because of Noelia's claims that Topy sexually abused her.

And now Yamil is upset and claims is willing to work with the FBI because he hasn't recieved any money for the sex tape. Uh, doesn't the FBI have more important things to do than try and get a dirtbag money? Seriously.

That whole family is fucked up and they need to stay away from each other and stop talking about each other to the press asap. Basta, ya!



The Kardashian sisters are going to be designing a clothing line. Seriously.

"It's definitely going to happen but we're just meeting with manufacturers at the minute so it's still in the early stages," she said last night.

"We want to start with jeans. Like a denim line. And then we want to do some really cute dresses and stuff that we would wear."

Kim already owns a boutique in LA which specialises in designer labels: "Pretty much my whole wardrobe is from there. My life and my world is fashion," she told us.

That's funny, I thought her life and world was getting naked for playboy and having sex on camera? Because that's why the world knows who she is.

That being said I can't wait to rock that shit out.

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There's been a lot of back and forth about what Isla Fisher has given birth to. At first an Australian newspaper said that she gave birth to a girl, but then over here in the states they said she gave birth to a boy.

Now Ok! Magazine is reporting that a rep for the couple has issued a statement that Isla gave birth to a girl who they named Olive.

"They had a beautiful healthy baby girl. Mother and daughter are doing great," a rep for the couple said.

Olive is a cute name, I think. Congrats! Again!

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The Fanning sisters, Dakota and Elle, have been cast in Cameron Diaz's new movie, My Sister's Keeper. The story is based on the book of the same name which is about a girl, played by Elle, who sues her parents for emancipation after she finds out she's been conceived as a genetic match for her sister, to help prolong her life because her sister, who will be played by Dakota, is dying of cancer. Cameron Diaz will play their mother.

The book was good but it was a bit depressing for me. I'm not going to spoil it for y'all but still. Don't read it unless you're on serious uppers.

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The New York Daily News is reporting that X-Tina might be expecting twins. !!!!! That means they can go on play dates with Jello's twins!

Honestly, I don't think she's going to be having twins; she doesn't seem all that big for twins and she's what, five months pregnant? Then again, I'm no expert.

Here's more of X shopping for baby clothes in L.A.



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To be honest, I'm not interested in seeing any of the movies coming out this weekend. Maybe Saw IV, but the last one was too gory for me and wasn't all that great, in my opinion. And even though I love Steve Carell, Dan In Real Life looks a bit boring.

Click the pics for more info on the coresponding movie.



Gen was right! It's Hayden Panettiere! Although I don't have a prize for you this time, there's going to be one for the next Guess The Ass! Good luck, you guys!



Natalie Portman's publicist has shot back at claims that Nat-Nat stated she regreted the nude scene she did in Hotel Chevalier. It was previously reported that Nat-Nat wrote about her regrets in an essay for Parade magazine.

She says, "I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition. From now on, I'm going to trust my gut more. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no."

Her publicist, Kelly Bush, states that she didn't specifically talk about Hotel Chevalier, that she was actually talking about a torture scene in Goya's Ghosts, in which a body double was used.

"We say that Portman regrets doing a nude scene in the movie Hotel Chevalier. This is wrong. When Portman writes about this in Parade, she does not mention a specific movie title. She tells us she was referring to a torture scene with a body double in Goya's Ghosts, which was taken out of context and leaked onto the Internet. Portman is very happy with Hotel Chevalier and proud of her work in the film."

Whatever, she can regret whatever she wants but she's still a bitch. Maybe she was pissed that I was at the premiere party for Paris, je t'aime and she knew I blew her ex (we're just friends, he got me in and it was a long time ago, whatever) but that still doesn't excuse her bitchy behavior to everyone else at that party. Just sayin'. Emily Mortimer was nice.

That being said just because she's a bitch on the personal front doesn't mean that I don't think she's doing amazing things with her fame. Not only is she shedding light to many issues around the world that need our help but she's a better role model for kids than Paris, Jessica and especially Brit-tit.





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The ever so classy and stunningly gorgeous Jordan aka Katie Price hocked her new hair product line. I'm not sure why anybody would want to buy a Jordan aka Katie Price curling iron but whatevs. Maybe use it as a butt plug? ::shrugs::

That being said if any of you fuckers give me a Jordan aka Katie Price flat iron or curling iron for Christmas, I will love you forever.

P.S. - God, how I love this woman: