Friday, April 18, 2008

What Are You Seeing This Weekend?





I'm not seeing anything. I plan on Fasting, sleeping and catching up on the ANTM recaps this weekend.

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Guess Who Out The Clink?



One of you bitches better have gone and tell me all about it. Shoot.

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There Was A Premiere For This?





Jenna Jameson attended the midnight screening of her new movie, Zombie Strippers, at pretty much the only theater it's playing at. I hate movies that try to be "cult classics". It either happens or it doesn't. Except for John Waters. Anything he touches is gold.

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Besitos Por La Tarde



Who wants to see Foxy Brown?: YISIAW

When is Big Love coming back?: Mollygood

More Lohan Wackyness: Dlisted

Jakey G is P-I-S-E-D. Pised?: Celebslam

Enough with the Speidi fakery: ASL

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They're Fucking Up A Good Book



Dear whoever the hell is making this movie,

You're sucking. Horribly. Confessions of a Shopaholic was a good book. Well, ok, it was a fun read at least. But you, Mr. or Mrs., are fucking up the movie version.

First of all, Becky Bloomwood was British. Second of all, Becky Blomwood was an amazing dresser. In your film, she is neither. She was a fucking personal shopper for Barneys, for crying out loud! The tragic mess you've got Isla Fisher wearing is horrible. This film could have been the next Bridget Jones's Diary. But you've failed in trying to make it the new The Devil Wears Prada. With bad fashion.

Sincerely,
Cris

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ANTM Preview



My guess is Whitney goes home next. And that's just because I can't stand her.

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Creepy McCreeperson



I used to find Milo Ventimiglia really attractive, but now he just creeps me out. It's that whole banging Hayden Panettiere thing. I know, age doesn't matter, but you know what, it totally does. When I was 14 I dated a 19yo and don't get me started on that mess.

Anywhoo, Milo was on TRL earlier this week. You know what, fuck it. He's still hot. More shirtless scenes on Heroes, please.

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Unfortunate



It must suck to be Rumer Willis. Actually, not really. She gets to go to all the hot parties, make-out (supposedly) with Orlando Bloom, and has hella cash. So what if she has an unfortunate head?

Rumer attended the hot stylist party last night sporting a new weave. Girlfriend needs to learn that no matter what she does to her hair, it isn't god and can't work miracles.

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One Of My Future Husbands In NYC



Orlando Bloom was caught filming a scene for his new movie, New York, I Love You. It's kind of a sequel to Paris, je t'aime, which is the best movie ever. My got me in to the NYC premiere and he better deliver on this one, even though I don't think he's working on it. Ooh, nevermind. NatNat Portman is producing/starring in this one too and y'all know how I feel about her.

I'm guessing Orlando plays a homeless guy in the movie. I've seen hot homeless guys in NYC before, but they're usually meth-heads who'll go gay for pay. Only on the receiving end, though.

Here's more of the gorgeous Orlando on-set. Sigh. He's so pretty. We'd have beautiful curly-haired children.

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Just Because: Cruz Beckham

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All For Publicity



I knew there was something fishy about those Ashley/Pete baby rumors. Neither are confirming or denying the rumor, which make me believe Papa Joe Simpson started them all (or leaked her real pregnancy) to drum up some publicity for her shitty album. Which is her baby. Which she is giving birth to. Damn, that would hurt.

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The Beckhams Enjoy Pink Taco



The Beckhams took the kiddies to Pink Taco yesterday to celebrate Victoria's birthday. Pink Taco for your birthday! I'll pass, thank you. I prefer pink diamonds.

They are the cutest family ever. And her dress is so cute.

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What's The Big Deal?



Dr. Michael Salzhauer from Florida (of course) is releasing a children's book about plastic surgery. He wants the book to teach children how to "cope" when their moms go under the knife. In other words, he's looking for a gimmick to put his name out there.

I don't agree with the book, but I can sort of get it. When my mom had her lips and then her eyes done (you didn't hear that from me) I freaked the fuck out. I was old enough to understand (11), but still. She looked like a tranny version of Howard The Duck. Damn, I need to find those pictures.



Source

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Suck It In



My mom loves Touch My Body. It freaks me out a bit when she sings it. I should be used to it being my family's insane.

Anyways, Mimi Carey signed copies of her CD E=MC2 yesterday at the Hard Rock Cafe. You know, on anybody else that outfit would be tragic. On Mimi, it's not so tragic. Ok, that's a complete lie. Part of me wants her to dress better and wear better fitting clothes but the other part of me loves her eccentricities that no other person could pull off.

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Song Of The Day:



La Tortura Remix by Shakira feat. Alejandro Sanz The song can be found on her album, Fijacion Oral.

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Besitos Por La Manana



Cute orange polish: Clumps Of Mascara

Diamonds and pink go together fabulously: Wendy Brandes Jewelry

Coco Roscha is fierce...: Mahalo Fashion

But not as fierce as Helena Christensen: SICK.

Julie Q is back!: The JQ Lounge

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Picture Of The Day:

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Skinny Nicky



Maybe it's because I (in general) think that you can never be too rich or too thin, but I don't think there's anything really wrong with Nicky "skin and bones" Hilton. She'll always be the hotter Hilton, no matter what her dress size is. Sure she can do with a rack of Bubbalou's ribs or two, but it's her body. She can starve herself if she pleases. Plus, her outfit is cute.

Here's more of Nicky at the hot hottie nottie party.

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Boring In A Cute Dress





Boring Conrad attended the hottie hot hot party last night looking adorable in that dress. Well, ok, the dress is adorable. I'm over her. She needs to grow a personality. She was so much funner when everybody thought she had that sex tape.

Yes, I'm in a bad mood. Can you tell the Fast is going well?

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When Bad Hair Happens To Good People





I'm not digging Heidi's hair. She's gorgeous and her body is amazing, but that hair needs to go. Maybe it's just the styling, I don't know. It makes her look older than she is.

Heidi was at that Hottest Hollywood Hottie Style whatever party in L.A. last night. The dress is cute, I give her that.

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What Happened To Her Career





Wasn't she supposed to be the next big thing and then poof, nothing? I blame Rihanna. Bitch stole her career.

Anyway, Christina Milian attended Us Weekly's Hot Hollywood Hottest Style Makers party in L.A. last night looking pretty cute. I'm guessing that's her new career. Party attender.

I heard some rumors about her from a friend who's in the music business in Miami. According to him, he said she "fucks for tracks" (like Joss Stone, remember?). If that's the case she must be bad in bed because girlfriend hasn't gone anywhere but down. Ooooh, did you like the punny?

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With Emo Child



Ashlee Simpson, who is supposedly pregnant, looked pretty sweet at last night's Condé Nast Traveler’s 8th annual Hot List issue party in NY. I'm usually not a fan but the dress, the shoes, the pearls are all perfect. And I love her makeup.

Ooh, and I love her ring:




And because it's pretty much required in any Ashley/Pete post:

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Quote Of The Day:



"There's a lot of political undertones against the Bush administration. And that's part of the reason why I did the movie. I kind of fancy myself a political girl."

-Jenna Jameson, talking about her new movie Zombie Strippers on The View. For real.

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Song Of The Day:



Full Of Grace by Sarah McLachlan The song can be found on her album, Surfacing.

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One Of You Bitches Better Enter



Kendra Wilkinson, one of the Girls Next Door, is looking for some hot Olive Garden chicks. Apparently it's her favorite restaurant so Playboy wants to do a spread (heehee) featuring hot girls who work at Olive Garden. My cousin used to work at Olive Garden but she quit so she can't enter. To enter you need to submit two pictures, a DL which says you're at least 18 and a current pay stub.

I love Olive Garden. Call me a cheap hooker (like that's an insult?), I don't care. They have the best salad in the world. And don't get me started on the Alfredo sauce with the breadsticks.

Source

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New Lily Music



Lily Allen has posted a new pic as well as two new songs to her MySpace page. I know I'm biased because I really like her music, but I actually really like these songs, especially I Could Say.

Click Play below to check I Don't Know as well as I Could Say and let me know what you think.

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Cover Of The Week:



*Bitch aint ever leaving. No offense to her fans, but who was she before Tom Cruise? Just the wonky-eyed chick from Dawson's Creek.

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Picture Of The Day:

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The New Hulk



As many of you already know, the new The Hulk movie is coming out. Yes, they remade the classic TV show into a movie just a couple of years ago, but it sucked ass and now Edward Norton has taken over for Eric Bana and there ya go.

I never really saw the original show, it was kind of before my time, but my mom loved it and wants to see this movie. I think it's going to suck as much as the previous one did. My personal dilemma is who is the hotter Hulk, Bana or Norton. Bana's beyond gorgeous (hello, Troy!) but Norton has his moments. I still feel bad about wanting to do him hard in American History X.

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Besitos Por La Manana



My poor little Petey: Beijing Chic

Hilarious moments in picture form: Glorious Nonsense

Manwood is beyond creepy: Mahalo Fashion

Cutest flats ever: SICK.

More cute shoes: Wendy Brandes Jewelry

P.S. - Yes I know, I haven't posted but after the debauchery of last night where I consumed way too much alcohol and...well, I shouldn't really talk about that online, I am starting a Fast. Today. I am now on my way to being mentally, physically and spiritually pure. Well, as close as I can possibly get.

P.P.S. - Mami C (Grammy) is doing fine. Well, better. She was in a horrible mood yesterday and even pushed me (I know!!!) after I tried to help her get up to go to the bathroom. In her mind she thinks she can just get up by herself and all will be right but she physically can't do it anymore. But then again, she freaking pushed me. Her upper body strength is amazing.

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ANTM Episode 9 Pics



Check the rest out after the jump!


Photographed by:
Theme: Traveling

Group Shot:


Anya:


Dominique:


Fatima: No Picture

Katarzyna:


Lauren:


Stacy Ann:


Whitney:

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Who Got Eliminated From ANTM This Week...




Saved:


Eliminated:


Covergirl of the Week:

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Gracias, Mi Bitchitos!



Depending on what part of Latin America you're from, I just called you guys either little bugs or little penises. Take either as a compliment.

Thanks for those who left kind words to the last post. The grammy (Mami, as we have to call her because she's too young to be a grandmother, according to her) is doing fine. Apparently she was on the phone with her sister in the Dominican Republic and she told her she was feeling dizzy. Her sister said to call my aunt or my mom, that way they can see if she has to go to the hospital. My grandmother thought she said to just call the ambulance and that's what she did. I spent all day with her on Friday and Saturday and within those two days she asked me if she could switch nurses to the male one, because he was hot, she asked me to ask the nurse how many penises she'd seen and who was the biggest, and she wanted me to let everyone know that the lady in the room next to her was a bitch. True story.

Anyway, I leave you with the lovely image above of Strawberry Milkshake Oreo cookies. I got them at Target yesterday and OMG. I don't know where I've been, but I just discovered them and they're amazing. Beyond amazing. It's like having eating a chocolate cake with strawberry milk.

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