"She is just going through a high school phase. You know dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She'll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I'll be there when she's ready to come to her senses though."

-Billy Bob Thornton joking about Angelina Jolie

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Angelina Jolie may not have given birth to twins, but she is on the cover of Vanity Fair looking ferosh as all hell.

Angelina Jolie has reportedly popped out her twins! No details on the sex of the babies, though there was speculation that she was expecting fraternal twin girls.

Congrats to the Pitt-Jolie family!

UPDATE: According to E!, she did give birth to twin girls in France. They're names are Amelie Jane and Isla Marcheline. Cute names! Apparently the Jane is after Brad's mom and Marcheline is after Angelina's mom. I've always wanted to name my kid Amelie, after the movie, obvs.

UPDATE 2:: According to Angie's rep, she has not yet given birth, not even close apparently.

"Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France,"

I don't care, I'm still name one of my possible children Amelie.

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Angelina Jolie and her unborn twins attended the premiere of her new movie Kung Fu Panda in Cannes earlier this afternoon looking pretty amazing. The dress looks great on her and I love the color.

According to Dustin Hoffman, her costar in the movie, she's due in June. Damn! That's still months away. Homegirl looks ready to pop now. Not according to my mother, though, she says the belly is too high up.

Here's more of Angie with Jack Black and Brad Pitt in France.

Angelina Jolie, Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman were in Cannes to promote their new animated movie, Kung Fu Panda. According to Angie, all the kids have seen and loved the movie except for Shiloh, because she couldn't sit still.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm seeing this movie as soon as it comes out. Why? Because it's Zahara approved. Duh.

Angelina Jolie looked so freaking cute in that yellow dress. I want it. I'd wear it with black mary jane stillettos and walk around buzzing in people's ears because I'd feel like a bee.

Angelina Jolie took all of her kids to the store in New Orleans earlier this week. Look how freaking cute they all are! Ugh, Baby Z wins my heart:

And Shiloh is beyond adorable, even when she's crying.

I totally hope she marries Kingston when they grow up.

Who's hotter pregnant, Angelina Jolie:

Or Halle Berry?


I say Halle, I think she's absoloutley gorgeous. The most beautiful baby on the planet is due to be born any day now.

Angie was spotted in a Texas Barnes & Noble while Halle was out shopping with the most gorgeous DILF to be ever, Gabriel Aubry.

P.S. - How freaking hot is Gabriel? Seriously. My mom even loves him. She makes me google pictures of him all the time for her.

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Angelina Jolie posed for new adverts for St. Johns. Wasn't she fired from them? I thought she was. Well, it's good that she didn't. She's got a zillion kids to feed, even though I'm sure she's already gotten paid for the exclusives for the new kids' birth.

The Daily Mail claims that Brad Pitt has confirmed that Angelina is expecting twins. That makes six kids so far. I say so far because you know Angie's going to adopt again at some point. They totally need a Latino baby. I'd donate my vagina/eggs/uterus/whatever. My one request is that we go for the natural conception. And you know my ass will get on the pill just so we would have to try again and again.

Unless he's bad in bed. Which he shouldn't be, I mean, Jennifer wouldn't still be moping around about the divorce if he was.

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If I had a nickle for every single time a tabloid posted Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt engagement/marriage rumors, I wouldn't be sitting here at the moment. I'd be on a beach somewhere getting pregnant with Johnny Depp's baby. Oh wait, that's the other fantasy. Y'all know what I'm saying.

I pretty much doubt these two will ever get married. You know Brad wants to but we all know that Angie wears the pants in that situation.

It's funny, because Angie gets pregnancy/adoption/break-up rumors every other week and I love how mags have the obligatory "we told you so" moment when it's like, yeah, if you predict it every week you're going to be right eventually.

Angelina Jolie sported a mighty baby bump on the red carpet of the SAG Awards this past weekend. I'm always wrong about the pregnancies. Next time it's rumored someone's pregnant, I'm just going to go with the opposite of what I think.

Angie and a rough looking Brad Pitt attended the SAG Awards because Angie was nominated for her role in A Mighty Heart. I still think that movie was god awful, even though I love Angie.

As haggered as he's been looking, this picture as all kinds of adorable. They still haven't reclaimed the top spot in my favorite couples, though.

I was going to post more picture of the Pitt-Jolies at the Critic Choice Awards but I was so disgusted by Brad's "new look" that I decided against it. I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling whatever the hell he's doing. I still blame Angelina, who seems to be continuing to suck the life out of him.

I recently saw The Good Shepherd with Matt Damon and although he was damn good in the movie, it killed me to see that his character hadn't aged in 25 or so years. And I'm sorry, but Angie was horrible in that movie. It killed me to watch her overact every other scene.

Angelina Jolie claims that Shiloh is the odd one out of the family, because she has blonde hair and blue eyes.

"She looks like Brad. It’s funny because she’s almost going to be the outcast in the family because she’s blonde and blue-eyed.

"I felt so much more for Madd, Zahara and Pax because they were survivors.

“Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born.

“But I’m conscious that I have to make sure I don’t ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable.”

Uh, wouldn't Baby Z be the "outcast" of the family since she's the only one not white or asian? Angelina needs to stfu already. When Shiloh grows up, do you really think she wants to hear or read about how her mother didn't "identify" with her and "related" more with her other siblings?

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I have no idea what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were doing at the Mayweather/Hatton fight in Vegas this weekend. God knows what Brad had to do to be allowed to go to that.