Lipstick Bitches: 16 September 2007

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Nicole, Joel and Bump hit the beach

Heroes on the cover of TV Guide

Don't Cry, Brit-tit!

It's been a rough week for Britney Spears. First she almost loses custody of her two sons. She also isn't allowed to drink or do drugs anymore. The drug stressed that she has a problem and she will now be drug tested twice a week to make sure she stays sober.

But it just got worse for her.

Early Friday citations were issued to Britney for a hit and run accident that she caused which was caught on camera. Britney, while trying to get out of a parking spce, hit a parked car and didn't leave a note for the owner. The owner contacted the L.A.P.D. and now Brit-tit's in real trouble, since she apparently didn't even have a license.

Britney could spend up to six months in jail. She won't, of course, but still, it's a possibility. Hopefully she gets that hot slut of a judge from Paris's case and not the ones who presided over Nicole and Lindsay's cases.

Now, according to sources, Britney's going to go back to rehab. Publicity stunt! I'm sorry, but she needs a good kick in the ass. Obviously the very real possibility of having her children taken away from her isn't straightening her out then maybe jail would be good for her.

But if she heads to rehab, there won't be jail time for her, trust. Judges love that shit. If she does go to rehab, hopefully she takes this stint seriously and realizes that it's a good thing for her to go.

George Clooney and girlfriend in accident

George Clooney and his girlfriend were in a motorcycle accident on Friday afternoon. Both sustained minor injuries, Clooney with a hairline fracture of a rib and his new girlfriend, Sarah Larson, with a broken foot and scratches on her face.

The other driver apparently clipped George's bike while making an illegal turn, but the driver says that it waqs George who was swerving in between the lanes.

Bitch fight! I smell a lawsuit.

Rose McGowan engaged

Robert Rodriguez has proposed to the woman he left his wife of sixteen years for, Rose McGowan. Congrats to the happy couple, I guess.

P.S. - I refuse to post new pictures of Rose's rapidly melting face. I prefer to always picture her as the beauty she was.

The Brady Munch

Marcia Brady aka Maureen McCormick is writing a book and in order to sell that book she needs a hook. A scandal, if you will. And boy is her scandal a big one!

Maureen claims that she and her costar Eve Plumb, who played her little sister Jan, were lezzing it up while on set.

A "source" told the National Enquirer,

"The most explosive comments will be how the then-blonde, blue-eyed cutie developed a crush on Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play. This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual hijinks going on behind the scenes. It's bizarre because she played such a virginal character on the show."

By "souce" I mean Maureen herself. You know bitch leaked that shit herself to build hype. I mean in all honesty, without the lezbot details, who would actually want to read a book about Marcia Brady?

OMG remember in The Brady Bunch movie sequal where Marcia and Greg make out and shit?

It's Jordan and Peter!

Jordan and Peter Andre sleazed up the backseat of a car Thursday night while they were out on the town, painting the town vomit green.

E! totally needs to do another reality show with them A.S.A.P.

Aaaaaah! SATC Movie News!

If you want to know some rumors and spoilers and see some pics about the upcoming Sex and the City movie, read after the jump!

Ok, so Big and Carrie are house hunting because they've finally made a real commitment to eachother...or so she thinks.

Charlotte is mega pregnant and apparently saw Big and another woman eating together and she freaks out. While she's freaking out Big tries to calm her down and then she goes into labor.

I like Charlotte getting pregnant, I liked Charlotte, but isn't the whole Big seeing other women thing soooooo old hat for SATC?

I still can't wait for the movie!

Not Guilty?

Pablo Montero pleads not guilty on drug posession charges. The troubled Mexican actor was stopped speeding in Miami last month. He was arrested for driving without a license and told the police that he had cocain on him which he was intending to use.

Ugh, so if you admit to it first and then you plead not guilty, who are you getting off? No, not like that, bitches, I mean pull an O.J. He'll probably just go to rehab and cry to the judge like all of these HOllywood people do.

Guadalupe is pissed!

Jello's mom was asked if Jennifer was actually pregnant and she responded:

"I didn't hear about it. You know more than I do. I don't talk to her very often. I don't see her often."

Harsh! She apparently isn't really close to Jennifer anymore. Some people are even going as far as to blame i on her marriage to Marc Anthony. Her mother didn't approve of him at all. Scandal! Could it be that I actually feel bad for Jennifer? I mean, I understand as a mother it must hurt when your child doesn't necessarily do the "right thing" but you should really support and be there for them no matter what. But then again who knows the real story here.

In other Jello news, her DIVA attitude has reached across the pond. Read her demands after the jump!

First of all, that's not as bad as I thought. Shit, if that was me I would've requested a whole lot more booze and porn. And some Goldfish crackers for Llora. She loves it when you throw them and she can catch them in her mouth. Or maybe I love that. The line blurs a lot.

Salma Gives Birth!

Salma Hayek has given birth to a baby girl earlier today! Congrats Chi-chi's!

Her baby daughter's name is Valentina Paloma Pinault-Hayek. Damn right I added her maternal last name, that's how we do it in Latino America.

Food for thought: Her daughter's middle name means pigeon in Spanish. Ew, pigeons are rats with wings.

Charlotte Church pops one out

Charlotte Church has finally given birth to a baby girl,even though she was told the baby was going to be a boy. This is the first kid for Charlotte and her ~~loser~~ boyfriend, Gavin Henson. Congrats Char! This makes me want to watch that video of Amy on Charlotte's show. Damn that was classic.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Low-rent Kate Moss

Jodie Kidd, who has recently been accused of being on the cocaina, is starting to lose her campaigns and feel the backlash for her behavior. Jodie was at a club one night when one of her guests was sexually harassing a female patron. When she went to complain about the guy, Jodie screamed,

"Who the f*** do you think you are?

"That man is a friend of mine and he can do what he wants. This is my event and you'd do f***ing well to remember that."

Bitch! Later in the evening she was seen stumbling out of a bathroom with a guy. Sniff, sniff.

Isn't this the same thing that happened with Kate Moss a couple of years ago? OMG she should totally start dating Pete Doherty.

ANTM Videos!

Check out more ANTM Cycle 9 Episode 1 videos, after the jump!

Tyra's singing and dancing number

Ambreal's Interview

Bianca's Interview

Chantal's Interview

Ebony's Interview

Heather's Interview

Janet's Interview

Jenah's Interview

Kimberly's Interview

Lisa's Interview

Mila's Interview

Saleisha's Interview

Sarah's Interview

Victoria's Interview

Heroes cast interviews!

ANTM: The Girls Go Cruisin'

Guess what time it is, bitches!!!

I'm going to be doing a weekly review of ANTM so check it out and let me know what you think.....

It’s ANTM Cycle 9!

Alright, before we move ahead with this season, I just have to say, Where’s Adrianne? Adrianne Curry, winner of the first season of ANTM, isn’t anywhere in the intro. It's been like that for a while but since this is my first ANTM review, I wanted to bring it up. That’s bullshit that she’s not there. So what if she pissed Tyra off, that doesn’t take away the fact that she won.

Ok, I’m done.

This year it’s all about being “role models” aka all the bitches have major problems and shit to overcome. How many girls cry in the second episode? I’m guessing 9 of them.

Anyways, this season is a little different in that the interviewing is going to be held on a cruise ship. Tyra packs up all the wigs and ships all the girls off to a cruise ship!

Most of the girls were way broke-down this season, but I have to say I fell in love. Meet Spontaniouse:

Sadly, Spontaniouse didn’t make the cut. God is punishing her for being born to parents who didn’t know how to spell spontaneous.

Spontaniouse and the rest of the shrieking pack (all they do is scream and yell this year) get on the boat and are surprised to find Miss J on deck, who makes them walk the “runway” with life jackets on.

This is high fashion, people.

Most of the girls were horrible especially my FTW (for the win) girl, Heather. Ok, I know Heather’s slow and has a serious syndrome, but that doesn’t mean she should walk like a hippo with diarrhea! Scratch that, those hippos from Fantasia were fierce.

After the walk the girls got to meet each other and over breakfast the next morning they were treated to a performance by Miss J in drag:

Ugh, she wishes she looked like Miss J in drag. Miss J has way better legs.

Ever since the fifth or sixth season, all these bitches scream and freak the fuck out when Tyra comes into the room. I can picture one of the P.A.’s on set, “Alright girls, Tyra’s coming in, now SCREAM!!!” Why do they do that? It’s so freaking annoying. I mean, she’s not Jordan. Jordan’ll give you something to scream about.

One by one all of the girls came in to meet Tyra and her bitches.

Those twinkling lights in the background were so freaking cheesy. Ugh, they reminded me of bad proms in the 80’s. I’ll only recap the girls who actually got on the show because those other bitches don’t matter. Except for Spontaniouse.

First came Ambreal:

First of all, that outfit needs to die a horrible death. If I was Tyra, I’d rip those things off her legs. I hate outfits like this. Like remember how the skirt/pant combo came out a few years ago. OMG and the Skorts! Ugh, I’m done.

Next up was Chantal:

BORING! The hair’s horrible but they’ll take care of that. Her neck is way too long for her tiny head. Hopefully they don’t cut her hair short or shave it off like they do to make those girls cry on that show.

Heather:

Heather has been my favorite since the model photos were first released. She has an amazing look. She’s a tad awkward (she has Asperger Syndrome, which is a mild form of autism) and can’t walk to save her life, but I love her. She makes my cold heart melt.

Saleisha:

Saleisha was part of the T-Zone camp Tyra has going on. First of all, Mariah came out with the camp for kids first so Tyra better step. Shit, Mimi did it first and better. Second of all Tyra must feel damn old if the girls she “brought up” at the T-Zone camp are all grown up. Fuck, that makes me feel old too. Damnit.

Victoria:

First of all, NO. Second of all, HELL NO. Ugh, she doesn’t even “want it”. It’s cool to not “want it” if you’re amazing (hello, A.J. cycle 7) but ugh, her? NOOOOO.

Janet:

Janet is a “kitty-kat” waxer from Georgia. Janet has an amazing body (a little too buff, imho) but this is why I love Janet:

I love Miss J:

Mila:

Mila has greasy hair. Mila needs to work on her jiggly ass. Mila is a no for me. Mila will cry at least once by the third episode.

We interrupt this program to bring you this:

SHE DOES NOT HOLD A CANDEL TO ADRIANA LIMA!

And then there’s this:

We conclude this announcement and return to the scheduled program.

Jenah:

Jenah freaks me the fuck out. She reminds me of Chucky. No, I don’t want to play, bitch. But aside from that Jenah brings us the quote of the episode!!!!

“I am beautiful. And I’m smart. I know stuff; I read books.”

Sarah:

What the fuck kind of bullshit was that? Ugh, I hate when these hoes try to be funny by doing something goofy/stupid/NOT FUNNY. Sarah’s too lazy to lose the extra weight so she decided to put herself in the “plus size” category, even though she’s only a size 10. What the fuck ever, bitch, lose the weight and then model. I have nothing against being plus sized or plus size modeling, but SHE’S NOT PLUS SIZE! Remember in season 4 when Keenyah put on weight and Tyra kept calling her out on it? My how things have changed now that Tyra’s a “plus size”.

Lisa:

I looooove Lisa. I think her and Heather are my two faves. Plus she’s a stripper. Everybody loves a stripper. Lisa showed the world how good of a stripper she was when she gave Saleisha a lapdance:

And what did Spontaniouse have to say about that?:

Bianca:

Bianca’s cool. The purple hair has to go but she seems ok. Not too boring but not to insane.

Kimberly:

Yeah, we don’t know why you’re there either. Kimberly looks like she’s going to take great pictures but she has nooooooo real personality. Damnit, I’ve been watching way too much ANTM.

Ebony:

Ugh, the resident bitch, hiding her insecurity and pain behind a wall of bitchyness. Ebony can walk, I give her that, but I don’t see her taking amazing pictures. But she’s great TV!

After all of the interviews the girls are taken to the beach where they meet up with:

Surprise, surprise! Jaslene, the winner of cycle 8, happens to be on the beach shooting and proves to the girls she’s not a tranny:

The girls take all of their pictures and head back to the boat but not all of them are allowed on. Thirteen of the girls get left behind on the island because Tyra doesn’t need them anymore.

But look who did make it on…:

Why does that look like a mugshot to me?

After the cut, Tyra listens to the girls tell her why they should be America's next top model. Let the crying begin! I feel like making a t-shirt that says, Pretty People Have Feelings Too!

Miss and Mr. Jay plus Tyra sit down to discuss who will make the final cut and move into the house. Tyra then gets all the girls together, like seasons before, and calls out the girls who make it to the house. Sadly, these two weren’t picked:

(Spontaniouse)

And that was the season premiere of ANTM: Cycle 9. Who wants to take bets on who cries first in the next episode?

For another seriously hilarious review of ANTM check out Four Four.

Just Because: Brad Pitt

How Unfortunate

Frances Bean Cobain looks exactly like her mother, Courtney Love. That's not a good thing.

Woah, ThighRa

Why does Tyra have to make a damn fool of herself all the time? Ever since Cycle 5 it's always some schtick with her. Ugh, I'm done. My ANTM recap is coming soon...

Those are sooooo not photoshopped

More pictures have been released, and these could be more damaging than the first set. Oscar de la Hoya and his alleged mistress are pictured above, and according to her, he looooooves dressing up as a girl.

I have this theory that when men have so much sex and experience so many things, like ODLH has, they need an extra taboo to spice things up. For example, I "dated" this guy in porn once and he seemed like a normal guy (besides the porn thing) but he was way too kinky for me in bed. I can get down, that's not the problem but when the role playing involved incest and trannies, that's cue for me to exit. He swore up and down he wasn't gay and only bi, but he totally dug other dudes. Just another 'mo in the closet.

MLP and new baby

Mary Louise Parker and her new baby were "caught" walking around New York. She's no Baby Z, but that little girl is adorable! But let's be real for a minute here... Can somebody get that little girl's hair did! Ugh, do I need to call for Dionne from ANTM Cycle 8 again?!?!?!

This breaks my heart

What the fuck happened to Zack Morris? I mean, Mark Paul Gosselaar was my first husband when I was a little girl! (I've had many). Why did he do this to himself. Ugh, his face reminds me of KFC and not in the good way. Let us give a moment of silence to the hotness that was Zack Morris.

Ok, I'm done.

Chris Crocker on Maury

What the hell is going on here? He's not as hot as he is on YouTube. He suffers from the Short Leg Syndrome. Long torso, short legs. Those people freak me out. Ugh.

Sorry, y'all!

I've been getting my plumbing fixed in my apartment and so I can't update while they're there. But everything's fixed now and I should be up and running today. Whoot whoot.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Amy, Amy, Amy

Amy won at the Mobo Awards last night, but that performance was awful! Hilarious, but awful.

Hayden and Milo grind on the dance floor

Ugh, I think I'm going to barf my chicken from Pollo Tropical.

Liars!

Although Oscar's reps are saying they're not real (they totally are), a woman who claims took the pictures says they're not only him but he's ultra kinky and LOVES dressing up in womens clothes. TOLD YA! According to NYDN, she's more of a mistress:

"She says she took the photos at the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia on May 17," Hay tells us. "I fully believe she is telling the truth. She had been reluctant to talk. But now that she's being called a liar, she's ready to sell her story. And, believe me, she has a lot of details."

A friend of the unnamed woman says that De La Hoya would regularly invite her and other party pals to join him when he left his family at home in Puerto Rico. "He'd send a private plane or fly them first-class," says the friend. "They'd meet up in hotels, where the party could go on for days. There was a lot of tequila. It involved men and women. They indulged his every whim and taste.

"He wore size 9 ladies shoes. He also liked wearing thigh-high nylons. He liked sex games. He and the girl would sit in a chair that they'd pretend was a motorcycle. He'd pretend he was the girl on the back of motorcycle. She'd be the guy. He'd grab her around the waist and squeal, 'Faster! Faster!'"

LOVE IT! I wonder if the mother of one of his children, Shanna Moakler'll blog about this on her myspace...

Souce

More Big and Carrie

True Story: I had six goldfish, two regular sized ones and one huge one, and they were named after the characters on SATC. I had them for like two years which is long for goldfish, but the night that of the SATC series finale, Miranda, Samantha and Steve died.

Legally Blonde: The Musical

The ~~has beens~~ stars came out at the MTV taping of Legally Blonde: The Musical. Why is CariDee at every single event in NYC? I mean, does she even work? CariDee came out with Kim from Cycle 5. She seems to have a great career. Maybe it'll rub off on Cari.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Guess the Crackhead:

Just kidding! We all know it's Amy. At least she's taking the nasty weave out. Silver lining, bitches.

It's Big and Carrie!

Movie still from Sex and the City.

I knew there was something fishy about him...

UPDATE:
According to Oscar's lawyers the pictures are fake. Hmmmmm, they don't look fake to me. What do you guys think?

Boxing golden boy, Oscar de la Hoya, plays dress-up. I always knew there was something gay about him. Told ya, mom!

Best. Couple. Ever

Courtney Love and and Pete Doherty are said to be sort of dating. The two were seen "canoodling" (god I hate that word) at a pub in England. Please, god, let this be true!

I'm sooo tired of her

Angie Jolie claims she's only had sex with four guys. What kind of a bullshit lie is that! I mean, she was the one bragging about having lovers because she didn't want Maddox to see a lot of men coming in and out and ugh I'm so done with her. She's trying to be this holier than though bitch in charge and that's so not attractive. God I miss the old lezbot Angie. On second thought, maybe the bitch is right. She never said how many girls she's slept with...

Can't turn a hoe into a housewife!

Brit-tit gets to keep her current custody arrangements with KFed, which is 50/50 only on a few conditions. Bitch is being kept on a chain! According to TMZ, the Judge told Brit-tit that she has "a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by (Britney)."

To read the full court document, click here.

How freaking adorable

How fabulous does Keri Russel look post-baby? I mean, my god it's only been a couple of months and she looks better than she did pre-baby! Her hair even looks less frizzy.

On the side note, I used to hate that show, Felicity. It was painful for me to see her bitch and cry and bore me to death an hour a week.

Lily's complaining. Again.

Lily Allen's bitching because people have made her feel fat.

"I'm a size 10 with a size eight top and made to feel fat next to someone like Kate Moss. What makes me angry is I let it happen. I'm not super-skinny, so in 'Fameland' I'm fat Lily Allen. It's now my ambition to get all those skinny-arsed bitches off the covers of magazines and get normal people on them."

Then quit bitching about it, embrace your curves (like America, Latifah, Jello) and work with what you got. Just how there are naturally rounder people there are naturally skinny people. As long as you make what you have work then it's all good. Quit bitching and crying about it on your myspace blog. Ugh, I'm done with her.

Just Fat

Jellotore isn't knocked up, according to Marc Anthony.

”Everyone calls about this every month with the hopes that they’ll hit the mark…but no. No.”

Very true. How many times was X-Tina pregnant before she actually was, etc.

Jenny McCarthy's son is autistic

Jenny McCarthy revealed on Oprah that her son is autistic. She claims that vaccinations might cause the illness and has her son in therapy.

I've been around autistic kids a lot (my mom was a special-ed teacher) and I know I should'nt feel bad for her but I do. I know how hard it is for parents to want their kids to do certain things and excell but when they're limited with a disease or an illness, it has to hurt a lot.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Liar!

Vanessa Hudgens, in a pre-taped interview, spoke to Tyra about how not to get the kind of attention Britney and Lindsay get for the things that they do. Haaahaa!

Ugh, my ears are bleeding

Heidi's a moron. I fucking can't stand her. Anyways, she was at her little birthday celebration and got up to lip synch her song Higher as soon as it was played. Can you say, slag?

I give her 3 episodes

I give this bitch three episodes and she cries like a bitch in jail.

Why, Ryan, why?

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds show their love at an airport.

Ugh, he's totally going to catch something. Even though it should be an upgrade from Alanis, I'm totally considering this a downgrade.

Zoe's a Trekkie

Fellow Dominicana Zoe Saldana has just been cast in the new Star Trek movie as Uhura. I'm not a trekkie but I totally can't wait to see this movie. I think it's pretty cool, that they're doing the original Star Trek but with a new cast. Zachary Quinto, Sylar on Heroes, is also starring in this as Spock.

Guess Revealed

Guess The Bumps:

They were X-Tina and Nicole Richie!

As for the ass:

Kat Von D, star of L.A. Ink.

And finally the purple penetrating vibe carrying hand:

Madonna! Naughty girl...

It's a boy!

My mom was right! My mom told me that Nicole would have a girl and X-Tina would have a boy. I know it's too early to tell (at least for everybody else on the planet) but my she's never been wrong about picking the gender before birth. Something about the belly hang. ::shrugs:: OK! magazine is saying that all of X-Tina's friends are buying boy baby clothes for her kid.

P.S. - My mom thinks Salmita Chichitas is having a girl.

Kate Moss shows Brit-tit how it's done

Kate Moss wears panties while getting out of a car. Finally, at least one chick in the spotlight wears panties.

P.S. - She's looking really good after dumping Doherty. I'm just sayin'.

TMI X 3

Brad Garrett was on Howard Stern this morning and talked about having a vasectamy, being on viagra, and having a small penis. Yeah, as small and fucked up as it is, men really do love talking about their wangs.

I know, it's not all that news worthy but it's a slow day. I need vodka.

Another day, another Jordan sex story

Jordan does not know when to shut the fuck up. She recently told OK! magazine that sex between Peter and her is like the movie Hostel.

Pete is the sicko, not me. I'm an extremist. Have you seen the film Hostel? Our sex life is like that."

Ugh, if you haven't seen Hostel, it's one of the bloodiest, gorriest movies around. It's about rich business men who like torturing people. Or just google it.

I'm blind

Don't get me wrong, I love me some hot pink. But that shit is freightening. Just a little too much of it, in my opinion. Cute suit, though. Actually, I should totally STFU because I had that color on my nails yesterday and my mom told me that I looked like a hooker. God I love my mother.

Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith attended the premiere of The Kingdom.

Cristina's grandbaby

Latino Oprah, Cristina is a grandma and here's a picture of her grandbaby. Her daughter gave birth on July 1 to a boy. Awe, he's cute! Congrats to the family!

Fired!

Amy Winehouse will no longer work on the soundtrack for the upcoming James Bond movie, Bond 22. Amy was supposed to sing on a the title track for the movies. Harsh!

Also, Amy is said to be dieing to get back into the studio for a new album. I liked Frank more than I like Back to Black, so I'm all for it.

Oh. My. God.

Another one who should just stand there and look pretty. Sigh.

Prince Caspian poster

The poster for The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I looooooved the first one, even though I thought they should start with the first book and move forward, but I understand since The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is more popular.

Gisele and her ugly shoes

Here's Gisele Bundchen's ads for her line of shoes.

Eeeeew, other than my grandmother, who would wear those ugly things?

Thoughts?

Brad and Angie are building an army

Brad Pitt loves to talk about his life. In a recent inverview with AP, Brad had these brilliant bits to say:

Brad on adding to the family: “We’re not done. They say, ‘Any plans for a fifth?’ And I say, ‘And a sixth, and a seventh, and an eighth, and a ninth.’ That’s my answer.”

Brad on how he accomodates for his ever-growing family: “We also made a 9-foot-wide bed. Just big enough. One more and we’ll have to go to 11 feet.”

Brad on how he and Angelina manage to take care of four kids: “We just take turns and make sure we keep the family together. It’s impossible for us. We’re run out of every major city. There’s just too many paparazzi. There’s always cameras in the kids’ faces, yelling their names.”

Brad on how to survive life in the media while maintaining a family life: “I understand the essence of paranoia. I understand being hunted, to some degree. It’s rare, but there are imbalanced people out there. I’ve had break-ins in the house. I’ve had some of these abnormal incidents that can be a bit frightening. It’s something that I want to be aware of and be cautious about, especially with the family, that everybody’s protected.”

That's bullshit, because the cities they choose to live in are New York, L.A. and New Orleans. Move to Kansas or Oklahoma, the paps won't be that bad there. Ugh, I'm starting to agree with Angie where he needs to just shutup and look pretty.

Kids sure do know how to party like a rockstar

Here's a sneak peek at the kids from Kid Nation doing it up hardcare.

P.S. - What the hell are the "bombing" into their cokes?

Blame Seacrest

The 59th Emmy Awards presentation this year had the second lowest ratings in Emmy history. Blame Seacrest! The award show only pulled in 13 million viewers. Haaahaaa! There were some funny moments but most of it was blah.

Caught!

Enrique Iglesias was caught leaving at a club in London with a brunette. Enrique has been sort of dating Ana Kournikova for years but that didn't stop him from having fun with the mystery girl.

In other Enrique news, he told Twist magazine that it's a lot better to be a man then a woman because women tend to have more feelings and will eventually make them suffer more.

Ugh, I used to have the biggest crush on him when I was like twelve. Now he needs to just shutup.

New Mika video!!

I heart Dave Grohl

Quote of the day:

"Paris is f***ing lame. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her."

God I love him. Meanwhile, Paris got trashed at LAX last night.

Poor Brit-tit

Nobody knows whether custody has been taken away from her or if she still shares 50/50. Her lawyer, Laura Wasser claims it's still equal even after Tony Baretto, the secret witness, claims she ran around naked all the time and did tons of drugs, something that Laura, on her last day representing Britney, denies.

But according to Fox News, Brit-tit will temporarily lose custody of SPF and JJ. They claim that Commissioner Gordon (duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, BATMAAAAAN!!) has given full custody to Kevin Federline based on information they received over this past weekend.

To put the cherry on the shit sundae, Britney has been fired by her management company. The Firm was hired by Britney in May after she fired her previous manager, Larry Rudolph. Aagh, that was a tongue twister.

Is it bad that I sort of feel bad for Brit-tit. Just a little bit. Ugh, I must be pre-menstrual.

Heroes clip!!!

Another African baby adoption

Mary Louise Parker has adopted a baby girl from Africa. Congratulations to her! I really like MLP and I'm glad to see her expanding her family. She already has a three year old son with that rat bastard Billy Crudup. He's the one that left her for Claire Daines while she was pregnant.

On a side note, don't tell me what happened on Weeds last night. I completely missed it, but I'm going to watch it on Demand later today.

Monday, September 17, 2007

How cute are they!

The Rossdale family took a stroll in Paris. That first picture of them kissing is freaking adorable!

Secret witness revealed

Gloria Alred's secret witness has been revealed to be Brit-tit's ex bodyguard, Tony. There are rumors also that say that someone tried to have K-Fed killed and all fingers are pointing to Britney. This might be the guy she hired. Who knows. Hopefully we will by the end of the day, though.

Penelope & Monica Cruz for MANGO

I love the clothes but I can't tell them apart. Either they're all Penelope or I'm in serious need of some sleep. I think it's the latter.

El Loco de Miss Venezuela

So my mom calls me and asks me if I saw what happened with Miss Venezuela. I say no and she tells me I need to watch it. It was fucking BRILLIANT!!

This crazy guy basically jumped on stage and try to knock over one of the losers to steal her crown! LOVE IT! Only in Latino America, ladies and gentlemen.

Jim Broadbent says he's Slughorn

According to a post on Mugglenet, Jim Broadbent says he's going to be playing Horace Slughorn in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Bob Hoskins would've been great but Jim's cool too. I can't wait until the next movie!

Don't pass it to Angie

Angelina Jolie doesn't like the pot. She's tried every drug invented but says the worst experience she had was on the puff puff.

'I've done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything. But the one that had the worst effect for me was pot. I felt silly and giggly and I hate feeling like that.

She took LSD on a trip to Disney:

'I remember taking LSD before I went to Disneyland. I started thinking about Mickey Mouse being a short, middle-aged man in a costume who hates life. Those drugs can be dangerous if you don't go into it positively – I gave them up long ago.

Oooh, you know she made Brad quit. He used to get uber high with Jen and you know Angie's whooped him. Ugh, such a waste.

Dirty

I feel so dirty having naughty thoughts about Shia, since I saw him grow up on the Disney Channel, but still, he's so hot. Sigh.

Uh-oh! Brit-tit's on her own.

Brit-tit's lawyer, Laura Wasser has quit. She will no longer be representing Britney, which is perfect timing because Britney's custody case against K-Fed is in a couple of hours. Damn! That's harsh.

I need to listen to this

Pete Doherty wrote a song called "Amy on The Mend" for Amy Winehouse. It was a present for her 24th birthday. He framed the lyrics for her and signed it, Love Pete.

Somebody needs to break into Wino's crack den and find that shit for me ASAP! We need to turn this into a hit single, possibly sung by Lohan or Brit-tit if Amy doesn't want to do it herself.

Britney Banned from the Chateau Marmont

L.A. hotspot the Chateau Marmont has banned Brit-tit because she was behaving weird.

And it seems “acting weird” doesn’t begin to describe her latest act of lunacy, which saw Britney stunning fellow diners in the posh hotel restaurant by smearing a plate of top-notch food over her FACE.

Horrified guests were understandably outraged and demanded the management kick her out for good.

A source said: “The diners were disgusted. You wouldn’t expect that from a teenager in a fast-food joint.

“Royalty have dined in this restaurant. Her behaviour was totally unacceptable.”

Bitch is country, y'all. That's what we do down south. Ok, that was a lie but still, it's Britney, bitch. Would you expect any better?

O.J. Simpson arrested

O.J. Simpson was arrested and is still currently in jail on armed robbery charges. Bitch is fucking mental! According to him it was a sting operation in getting some things of his back. Whatever, he was probably watching Oceans 11 and thought it was cool. Anyways, O.J. is currently in jail without bond. Maybe he'll get to serve real time this time around.

Mr. Fantastic gets a Mrs.

Ioan Gruffudd got married this past weekend to longtime girlfriend and sometimes actress, Alice Evans. Congratulations! I totally had a huge crush on Ioan when he was in King Arthur. Sigh.

The two met on the critically acclaimed move, 102 Dalmatians.

No Shit

Paris Hilton will not be adopting children. There were earlier rumors about her wanting to adopt four little blonde haired, blue eyed girls who looked just like her. Not so, says Paris.

"Someone just said that I'm adopting four blonde babies. That's retarded. No, I'm not."
I actually agree with her. I think it's retarded for Paris to adopt, because what agency in this world would actually give Paris a kid.

P.S. - She totally looks like a bird in the above photo. Uh, stop trying to act like Nicole, sweetie.

Listen to this: Feist

Like A Fine Frenzy, Feist is just a girl on a mission, singing great songs along the way. I got her album a couple of weeks ago but haven't really listened to most of it yet because I've been so busy, but when I heard the song on the IPOD commercial I knew I should try it out and I loved it. Check out that song, 1234 below.

DON'T DO IT, MILO!!!

Ugh, there's nothing else left to say but: STEP AWAY FROM THE SKANK!

Bitch is fierce

Although he will never be Fernancey, Chris has his hilarious moments. Here he is pissed off at Fox News for making fun of him and if you look past the mascara and eye shadow, he has (somewhat) of a point, though how much of a point is it if the entire world knows that Fox News is biased. ::shrugs::

P.S. - You know what, he kind of looks like a more feminine version of Ann Coulter.

P.P.S. - Here's the video he was responding to. They didn't say anything that bad but his reaction is still hilarious.

Whose bumps are these?

Guess whose bump belongs to who.

*HINT* They're two different people.

Ouch!

That's what you get for that bullshit of a finale, Sopranos! Although they won for Best Drama Series, but James Gandolfini and Edie Falco didn't win.

To check out the rest of the nominees, click here.

Steppin' Out with her baby

Even though X-Tina wore a kind of unoriginal dress during her performance at the Emmy's, she still looked super cute and was amazing, as usual. The only problem I had with the ensemble was her lipstick. It was a shade too pale and looked like she just used her foundation as lipstick. But other than that she was great.

Ooooh, they cut her off!

How fucking horrible was that! They cut the end of Sally Fields's speech from the Emmy's! Ooooooh, she should totally go on the view and finish it.

Same dress, different colors

Ali Larter

Kristin Bell

Christina Aguilera

All the girls at the Emmy's wore pretty much the same dress. How freaking boring is that?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Ding-dong, the witch is dead!

Crazy Lacey got kicked off of Rock of Love! To bid adieu, I leave you with Lacey's music video. Oh, the pain.

The Bad: Emmy Male Edition

Jeremy Piven

Ugh, maybe it' because I usually fall for assholes but there's something about "The Pivert" that I find attractive. But he looked horrible at the Emmys! I mean, comb the toupe and shave! Ugh, Ari Gold wouldn't have walked out like that.

Joey Fatone

If you're going to wear a different color tie, that's fine. But don't pair all of that with sneakers! Ugly sneakers, at that. It's not the Grammy's, Joey.

Michael Imperiolli

CHRISTUFUH!!! What happened to you! He used to be kind of hot on the Sopranos.

Ron Jeremy

What in the fuck was he doing there?

The Bad: Emmy Female Edition

Hayden Panettiere

That dress would've been brilliant if she were a pregnant princess. She looks cute and the hair and makeup are safe but that dress looks like she ripped the curtain off the hotel room. YOU'RE NOT SCARLETT O'HARA!

Mary Louise Parker

I LOOOOOOVE MLP, and from the hips up she looks amazing. But you get to the bottom of that dress and it's all wrong. It looks stapled on. If I were her I would've just ripped that bottom off.

Ellen Pompeop

The hair, the makeup, the necklace. NOOOOOOOO!

The Good: Emmy Male Edition

Eric Dane

I've never watched Grey's Anatomy but the McSteamy guy is hot! He looked great ath the Emmy's

Milo Ventimiglia

Awe it's Milo! He looked too cute. Sigh, don't get with Hayden, Milo, you're too good for that.

The Good: Emmy Female Edition

Ali Larter

Even though everybody and their mother wore a dress like that, she killed it in satin.

America Ferrera

Another good one, America! She looked amazing in that dress. The icing on the cake is that she won. Whoot whoot!

Debra Messing

She's worn good dresses and bad dresses but this was a good one.

Edie Falco

Again, everybody's mother (the over thirty set) wore the elvira bell type gown, but she did it right. I don't even mind the reverse dalmation print.

Jaime Pressly

When I first saw this dress I hated it but I really like it now. It's different and it works.

Katherine Heigel

Katherine gets on my nerves most of the time but she looked amazing. Her hair and makeup were great and the (again, ball type elvira) dress really fit her well.

Vanessa Williams

Maybe it's because I loved Big Bird as a kid but I think this dress was amazing! Her hair is a little blah but everything else is brilliant

Christina Aguilera

Another one I hated when I first saw; I just wanted to rip that bow off, but it grew on me. I'm not that fond of the makeup and hair that she's been wearing forever but it's way better than this mess that she wore in vegas:

Y'all can have Chris Crocker

Fernancey will always be #1 in my heart. Sigh.

ANTM Cycle 9 Intro

I'm starting to get sick of all the ANTM news. Ugh, I need a nap.

Shocker!

I don't know what they did to her on the show or what they did to these pictures but she looks so young and cute here. Why didn't she look like that on the show?

I have this theory that last season they wanted to try and spice it up and make this whole big deal about Jaslene coming back and making it since she wasn't chosen for Cycle 7. Most of the girls on that cycle were busted and there were only a handful (Renee, Britney, Sarah) that could actually really make it in the biz. I mean, they don't show all of the pictures, they can show the worst and say it was the best just to push one girl over the other. I know, I'm nuts but I'm on to something here!

Another day, another pregnancy rumor

The Daily Mail is claiming that Angelina Jolie is pregnant again. Another ano? They're saying that she looked like she had a swollen stomach when she was in Venice and now she's covering herself up when she goes to pick up Maddox from school. Brad needs to stop it with the hat though. It makes him look like a crazy old man that yells at people from the porch of his house.

You never know what to expect with those two. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. I'm thinking she's not but I've been wrong about the baby rumors a lot (Jello) lately. God, I miss the old "vile of blood" Angelina.

Why do I always think she's pregnant?

You know when skinny people gain weight but it doesn't look like it's settled in right so it just looks like they're bloated. That's what Patricia Arquette looks like to me. She looks swollen and uncomfortable. She needs to get on that, because if your older sister and your tranny sister are looking better then you...

P.S. - Why do I have the sudden craving for milk and cookies?

Upgrade!

See, she didn't need all that photoshop! America Ferrera looks amazing! Maybe she sucked all the hotness from the guys at the EW party. ::Shrugs::

Hitting the walls must hurt. Bad.

Didn't John Stamos look way hot just last year? I mean come on, God! Don't do this to Uncle Jesse! Maybe he needs a nap or whatever but he's looking tired.

So is Nigel Barker, who normally looks fucking hot as all hell. Joey Lawrence hasn't looked hot in a while.

Oh yeah, can someone please explain to me why he's shaving his head. His hairline doesn't look too far back so it's not like he had to. Is it to try to look edgier/more adult? It's not working. I'm blaming this Rumer Willis. Rumer and her fuglyness sucked all the hotness in the air.

Lauren has a clothes line

And it looks like everything else I've seen already at Forever 21. Most of the pieces are named after her friends. Whoot whoot. If you want to check out the rest of the overpriced collection go here.

Trying to be hot is not a good look for you

Rumer Willis needs to stop. Seriously. She reminds me of those old bitches at the clubs that leave their kids at home alone and wear tight jeans with their belly fat hanging over them. Yeah, you're not hot so stop trying so hard. Ugh.

Rumor attended the Entertainment Weekly's 5th Annual Emmy party.

Mya's still around?

My love is like woah. And by woah I mean non-existant. Where has she been? Anyways, She hosted the 10 Cane Cloud 9 party in NYC and guess who attended: