Thursday, April 24, 2008

You know what time it is.

This week, Whitney is bitching and blabbing about being a plus-size model, blah blah, fat, blah, plus size, blah blah, blah. Shut the fuck up.

Claire whines about being in the bottom two and the other girls bitch about her fabulous reaction.

Awe, Stacy Ann thinks Claire is over the top.

The girls get a Tyra Mail where Dominique thinks their upcoming challenge has to do with Broadway or acting. Apparently her mother thinks she’s a natural born actress. The real question is if she’s a natural born woman. Me thinks her mom is the only one to answer that truthfully.

The next morning Lauren starts bitching and yelling at someone else in the house. This time, it’s Fatima because she was pissed that Lauren threw her coffee out.

Fatima needs to quit bitching at Lauren because Lauren will kill a bitch. What do you expect from a chick who drinks coffee from a wine glass? Classy all the way.

The girls head out and find out that the challenge has nothing to do with Broadway and has to do with go-sees. Sorry Dom-Dom!

They’re split up into two groups. Team 1 consists of Claire, Stacy Ann, Dom-Dom and Whitney. Team 2 is Katarzyna, Anya, Lauren and Fatima.

Awe, Stacy Ann is always getting lost!

The girls walk around New York and visit with different designers, where Pamella de Vos of Pamella Roland tells Whitney she would never book her because she’s not a size 2. She also said that she wouldn’t book Fatima either because she wasn’t a size 2 either. She’s an equal opportunity bitch.

Wait, Katarzyna is actually getting camera time? Oooh, and she’s wearing a hat. That has to means she got her makeover.

And it’s time for the quote of the week!

This week, the quote is brought to us by none other than Stacey Bendet from Alice and Olivia.

She was the last designer in the go-sees and judged the girls on their walks. She pretty much liked everyone, except for Lauren

“Lauren, she’s very tall, but I mean, HORSE WALK!?! She was kind of like stomping through the showroom. It was kind of funny.”

I love her.

In the end, Team 1 wins because Stacy Ann booked the most jobs.

Their prize is doing a feature for Seventeen magazine. Wait, Dom-Dom in Seventeen magazine? Seriously? She hasn’t been seventeen in twenty years.

The next day the girls go to their photo shoot where they find this:

Break through the wall? It would’ve been even more hilarious if it was a brick wall and Tyra was running, but close enough.

The girls are told they’re going to be doing a shoot based on Fuerzabruta, where they use their bodies to evoke an emotional response from the audience. Kind of like the red light district hookers in Amsterdam.

Dom-Dom is gonna kick ass.

Mike Rosenthal is so dreamy. Sigh.

Claire, being the attention whore that she is, decides to slide into the water, but ended up slamming her face into the plastic and hurting her neck.

Dominique would not be that stupid to slam her face into that.

Katarzyna got her haircut. I feel bad because I have long hair and when my evil grandmother cut my ponytail while I was sleeping (true story, she thinks evil women have long hair), I cried for weeks.

I’m not sure I love the short hair on her. It’s a little too much like Katie Holmes. That and I loved her long hair.

After the shoot, the girls get home, get their Tyra Mail and like always, one of these bitches will be going home.

Judging time, bitches!

Tyra finally gets Katarzyna’s name right! Unfortch for Kat, Miss J takes the opportunity to call her Neutrogena. How very creative. But it doesn’t matter, because Ty-Ty goes on to fuck up her name again.

Dom-Dom’s outfit is a little too shear for Tyra. Ty-Ty’s afraid that if Dom-Dom bent over, they’d get a show. Of what, her tucking technique? Actually, her bending over in that outfit would answer so many questions.

Tyra claims that Katarzyna doesn’t have a personality. Just because she’s not a tranny:

Or psychotic:

doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a personality.

In the end, the bottom two were Claire and Lauren,

with Claire going home.

I’m actually kind of sad Claire is going home. Sure she was an evil bitch these past couple of episodes but the girl is gorgeous and had potential.


  1. New Jack said...
    I'm so WRETCHEDLY thrilled Lauren's FAKE grunge ass has gone home...
    Divine Blackness said...
    You are so damn funny!!!!! "The question is if she's a natural born woman." That was too clever.
    molly said...
    would it be too forward if i just said straight up that i love you?

    also, i got me some mad hate for tyra...katarzyna is the BEST and you know tyras gonna send her home cuz she DARED to correct tyra

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