Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Woohooo! It’s Top Model time! This week Fatima plays the bitch of the house again and Anus plays a dumbass! Awe, she’s just being herself.
I’ll start this week’s recap right off with the quote of the week!!!
Um, sweetie. She didn’t mean an extra seven days in the competition. She meant that in TV terms, you’d be on the show until the next elimination. Sorry to burst your tranny bubble, but all of the girls are guaranteed an extra week.
Lauren is still insecure and not at all confident, which is really starting to annoy me. The oh poor Lauren “fish out of water” scenario is old already, and it’s only the fourth episode.
Fatima is also annoyed, but what’s honestly new in that. She was the bitch to the Ali girl in the first episode, Marvita in the second, Allison in the third and Anus in this one. Ooooh, both Anus and Allison went home…..
Anyway, the girls get an annoying as all hell Tyra mail telling them some bullshit. The next day they end up at a fire station.
Why in the hell couldn’t they get hot firemen, like him:
God I love him and his big hose.
The girls are given a quick challenge where they have to change in “firemen attire” in 90 seconds.
Fatima keeps her own shoes on and pisses Miss J off. Um, doesn’t she know nobody should piss Miss J off? Ugh, serious bitch.
The girls then have to walk the “runway” in front of the firemen.
Ugh, love love her.
Dominique of course trannified her walk and pretty much gave the firemen a peek at her tucking tactics.
That’s right, baby, show her how a real tranny does it!
Fatima and Lauren have the worst walks until this:
Anus seriously needs to be on some kind of medication. It’s like she’s a combination of Megg from Cycle 7:
And Lisa D’Amato from cycle 5:
It’s not working for her. Hell it didn’t work for either Megg or Lisa so what the fuck was she thinking in trying it.
Katarzyna did the best, in my opinion, as well as Claire and Stacy Ann.
When the girls got to the house Aimee says that she calls the bathroom because she wanted to take a shower.
Claire and Dominique say that there were 11 girls in the house and that she can’t use the bathroom all for herself.
Marvita also freaked the hell out.
First of all, I’m one of those people who don’t like people watching me bathe, let alone use the bathroom while I shower. I get where Aimee is coming from. And I don’t see what the whole big deal was, there were two other bathrooms so people could “pee” in.
Marvita so totally just wanted to see Aimee naked.
Whitney was the only one that seemed to stick up for Aimee. Fatima says that Whitney starts all of the drama in the house
Seriously? Fatima, the one who’s had a problem with most of the people in the house, thinks Whitney starts drama? That’s kind of like Tyra calling anybody self-centered.
Dominique goes on to say that every time she looks at Whitney, she thinks of “southern, not cultured, white-trash”.
Girl, is you from the south? It’s funny though, when I see Dominique, I think hot tranny mess.
After their little argument, the girls get another Tyra Mail (enough with the screaming) where they’re told that they’re going to be in a challenge the next day.
They head out to their challenge where Miss J tells them that they’re going to be walking in a Tuleh fashion show. I’m so glad that they’re doing more runway this cycle. It’s incredible that they do so few runway challenges during the season when that’s a good chunk of what a model does.
Or are they prepping these girls to only do catalogue?
While they’re doing their hair and makeup, They get a surprise visit by a chick from Seventeen Magazine and from cycle 8 winner, Jaslene.
What does Jaslene have to do with the fashion industry. A couple of Lot 29 ads does not a “top”model make. And while we’re on the subject, I hate when people call her Cha Cha Diva, because I actually know a drag queen by the name of Cha Cha Diva at Parliament and bitch is a million times fiercer than Jaslene.
Seriously, Dominique is only 23? Someone lied and stole someone’s birth certificate.
Fatima screwed up during the challenge because she buttoned a button wrong. According to her, besides the button, everything was perfect. Uh, not according to Miss J. And everyone else watching.
When it was over, Jaslene told Lauren that she basically sucked and looked like she didn’t want to be here.
Although I agree with Jaslene to some extent, who does she think she is criticizing someone like that? She didn’t have the best walk in her cycle and the only work she’s getting comes in the form of other reality shows.
Katar-gina ended up winning the challenge. Will nobody get her name right? At least Jaslene should have tried. She’s Latina, she should know a little thing about accents (not the speaking type, the little ' above a letter kind). It’s Ka-Tar-Zyna. I need to make a video of the different pronunciations of her name by the end of her run on this cycle.
Kat picks Marvita and Anus to share the prize, which was a feature in Lot 29 ads with Jaslene.
What the fuck kind of outfits are those?
I love how Jaslene tries to push the other girls out of the way. Don’t hate cause they’re more beautiful than you. Well, at least Katarzyna’s more beautiful than you. Or maybe it was because she’s jealous that Marvita looks like more of a man than she is. ::shrugs::
Lauren is a sad bunny because of what Jaslene said to her really affected her because she really does blah blah blah. STFU, Lauren. Seriously. I think I’d like her if she weren’t so unsure of herself. She needs to get out of this business if she cries about what Jaslene said to her. She can’t take criticism, and that’s not a good thing for a model.
The next day the girls head to the meat packing district where they pose with hunks of meat. Me thinks Tyra wanted some controversy in the form of PETA flipping the fuck out, that way next cycle we can do a photoshoot about not wearing fur, etc.
What about the fact that Covergirl still tests their products on Animals. Oooh, Although I hate PETA, I hope to fuck some crazy PETA psycho throws some red paint on Tyra. Picture it, The weave’s a mess. Ugh, classic.
Anya seriously needs eyebrows.
Lauren was actually pretty amazing during the shoot. Last week her picture was overrated, but this week I totally see it. But she’d never make it in this industry with her lack of self confidence. True fact.
Can I just say, ew?
After they get back to the house, the girls get another Tyra Mail (fucking please stop with the screaming). Lauren thinks she might go home because of the runway.
The next day, Anus is the only one who wasn’t getting ready for panel. She also dressed like a homeless hippy.
If there’s one thing I love Anus for, it’s for not taking this competition too seriously. And that’s pretty much the only reason why I love Anus. Oh, and for giving herself a name that I can so easily make fun of.
Ew, stop with the theatrics please, Tyra. They’re not funny.
And of course, Anus got shit for wearing the headband. I think what’s more offensive is the ratty weave they put in her hair.
And what the hell is Tyra giving Katarzyna crap for being too sexy? The reason she made it really big was because she became spank material for dudes when she posed for Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret. Hypocrisy is pretty hilarious, isn’t it?
In the end it was between Anus and Fatima,
with Anus going home. I love that she didn’t cry. I love the idiotic voice-dub. And I will forever love calling Amis Anus. So long, asshole!!!
3 Comments:
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March 19, 2008 at 5:57 PM
omfg love love love your post. so fucking hilarious :)March 19, 2008 at 6:08 PMAwesome recap as usual! And thank you for getting Katarzyna's name right. The pronunciation is dead on!March 22, 2008 at 7:20 PMyour antm recaps > everything else in my life
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