Thursday, March 6, 2008
And we’re back with another ANTM episode. I know I’m a little late with the recaps but I should be finishing this week’s episode by Friday or Monday, by the latest, which should catch me up.
This episode premiere’s a new intro. Upgrade or downgrade? I’m going with downgrade because ew, more Tyra loving Tyra. But the intro of the girls is actually an upgrade.
Moving on, the girls arrive in NYC and meet up in a restaurant where Amy reveals her new name.
Amis. Not Aaah-meees, like I thought it was pronounced, but Amis, as in anus. So I’ve decided to call her Anus throughout this recap and possible future ones, if I can remember.
The girls then arrive at their new loft/apartment/house/whatever and the theme for this season is some bullshit about bringing important issues and translating it into modeling. Basically Tyra ran out of ideas. Something else that’s new this cycle is that they’ve stopped naming episodes The Girl who blah blah blah. Good, they shouldn’t have copped the idea from Friends in the first place.
This season is also a no smoking season. There was a no smoking sign on the door, so a few of the girls stepped outside to smoke. WTF is up with the no smoking. Yes, I don’t smoke but I’m not going to force my personal preferences on other people. Tyra needs to stop trying to make a point.
While the girls are chillin’ in the crib, Anus makes a further ass out of herself by speaking nonsensical bullshit. I told you, she’s like Lisa D’Amato reincarnated, except Lisa didn’t die. Well, at least outside of the fashion industry she didn’t die.
The J’s then show up at the house and take the girls on a tour around the city, where surprise, surprise, there’s a surprise waiting for them when they arrive at Times Square.
Badgley Mischka show up and tell the girls that they’re going to walk the runway for them in a show they’re doing in the middle of Times Square. I always hate when they do shit like that because it always fucks up traffic (even more than it already is) in the city.
They walk the runway, with Katarzyna, Claire, Stacy Ann, and Whitney being my favorite. Fatima, Lauren and Anus were god awful.
The girls finish their “show” and while they were walking backstage, Fatima accidentally smacks Marvita in the face. Marvita and Fatima get into a shouting match, where they battle it out for who was going to be the black bitch of the house. I was totally expecting them to go at it and start screaming about whose childhood was worse. And you know Tyra would comment on the argument about her childhood being the worst since she ::gasp:: had to share a bedroom with her brother!! Her brother!!!
The girls get back to the house where they introduce another newbie for the season, digital Tyra mail!! Those things are so freaking cheap. My stepdad paid me to set one up in his store and it was a pain in the ass. And do they honestly have to scream their heads off every fucking time they “get” Tyra mail?
The next day, the girls head toward the Elite Model Management offices where they meet up with Neal Hamil and a surprise guest, Paulina Porizkova. The two were going to give the girls actual critiques about their appearance.
Paulina P. is the shit. I love that she called Anus out on her acne and called Dominique a tranny.
After the little powwow, the girls get into a limo cab, where yet again, Fatima and Marvita argued about whose penis was bigger. Seriously, these chicks look a little mannish and their arguing is just as relevant and amusing.
Seriously, why is Aimee in this competition?
The girls head toward their first “real” photo shoot where they were going to be partnered with actual homeless women. The homeless chicks were actually hotter than some of the skanks on the show.
By the way, is it just me or is Christian Marc hot? Just sayin’.
At the shoot, Fatima is already getting high praises for her poses. I’m sorry, but are they (judging panel, the two J’s) going to be up her ass all season? Yeah she’s pretty, once she gets rid of that awful hair, but she’s not all that. I’m guessing this is what the people who didn’t ~get~ Heather had to go through last season. It’s driving me insane. In any case, Marvita and Fatima hashed it out and squashed their beef.
Once the bitches get back home, they get another Tyra Mail which tells them that someone is going to be eliminated. God I hate the new Tyra Mail. More screaming bitches to deal with. Ugh.
It's juding time, bitches!!!
Can I just add that the Miss J's schtick is getting old, with the removing of garments or adding one on when a girl gets cut. It got old after the second time he did it, to be honest.
During judging Tyra tells the girls that the issue of homelessness is important to her because on her television show (anyone wants to take bets on how many times she mentions her other show on ANTM?) she was homeless for a day.
First of all, Tyra, baby, you were not homeless for a day. You hung around a homeless person and pretended to be homeless, but you yourself, with your multi-million dollar apartment in the city, are/were not homeless.
Anya gets a lot of praise. If she wins, I’ll never watch another cycle of Top Model. Ok, that’s a lie, but honestly. She’s Jaslene with a different accent. On the plus, she looks/sounds more like a woman than Jaslene. She’s like Tyra’s brokedown version of Gisele Bundchen.
It’s that time again, ladies and gents! It’s the Quote of the Week!!!
During Kimberly’s evaluation, Kim tells Tyra she’s not really feeling fashion and doesn’t have a passion for it. She doesn’t understand why someone would spend thousands of dollars on shoes or clothes, to which Tyra replied:
“But you don’t need to wear designer outfits as a model.”
Seriously, Tyra? You don’t need to wear designer outfits as a model? I’m sorry, I actually that was the point of being a model. Yeah, she probably meant in your personal life, but isn’t she the one that drills the fact that you have to live and breathe and know everything about this industry in order to be a successful model in these girls’ heads? Ugh.
In the end, Kim quit the competition and decided to go home. I actually kind of applaud her. She didn’t like the shit that went on, didn’t feel the passion, and left. Sure there were other bitches who should’ve been cast instead of her:
But Tyra didn’t give her the opportunity so it’s not Kim’s fault.
Another note: It’s Ka-tar-je-na, not Ka-tar-zeen-ya, Tyra. She can pronounce Jean Paul Gaultier, but not Katarzyna’s name correctly?
In the end it was down to Anus and Atalya in the final two
with Atalya going home.
Next week it’s makeovers! Thank god, Fatima is in desperate need of one. She has potential, but that hair has to go. And Dominique’s weave is such a goner.
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my favourite quote from yesterdays episode would have to be when tyra says at the makeovers "sitting in the stylists chair not knowing whats about to happen is the scariest thing in the entire world"
i was waiting for marvita (whos been raped) or fatima (WHOS BEEN FUCKING CIRCUMSIZED) to smack a bitch up
My name's Cris, btw, so I usually don't get people mispronouncing my first name, but my last name (which is from latin america) always gets slaughtered by teachers, etc. lol
Anyways, welcome to the blog!!