Dear Joaquin,

I thought you were way hot in To Die For. I developed a crush, if you will. And that crush has lasted for years. I've had to endure some horrible movies (The Village, Ladder 49), but still, you were hot. WHAT IN THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED. YOU WERE GORGE IN WALK THE LINE AND THAT WAS WHAT, TWO YEARS AGO?!?!?

Ok, I'm done. But I still have hope for you.

-C

P.S. - Does thinking naughty thoughts about your character in Quills, where you play a priest, make me a pervert? I mean an even bigger pervert? Sigh. Clergymen always know how to wet the whistle.