Orlando Bloom and supermodel girlfriend Miranda Kerr were stalked spotted on vacation in Gran Canaria this past weekend were the paps caught them sun bathing. On one hand, it would suck to be a celebrity and not having the privacy to sunbathe, but on the other, they're fucking rich, bitch! And get free shit all the time.

He's got a pretty nice ass. Click the pic above for the uncensored.

Orlando Bloom was caught filming a scene for his new movie, New York, I Love You. It's kind of a sequel to Paris, je t'aime, which is the best movie ever. My got me in to the NYC premiere and he better deliver on this one, even though I don't think he's working on it. Ooh, nevermind. NatNat Portman is producing/starring in this one too and y'all know how I feel about her.

I'm guessing Orlando plays a homeless guy in the movie. I've seen hot homeless guys in NYC before, but they're usually meth-heads who'll go gay for pay. Only on the receiving end, though.

Here's more of the gorgeous Orlando on-set. Sigh. He's so pretty. We'd have beautiful curly-haired children.

The hotness that is Orlando Bloom visited Nepal on Monday to do some work with Unicef. Among the places he visited was the temples of Swayamhu, which is also known as the monkey temple. My ass could never go there. I have a fear of apes. I blame my aunt Elsa for it. Long story, maybe another time. For now, enjoy Orlando's fine ass.

Orlando Bloom and his biological father, Colin Stone, take their dogs out for a walk. My Llora looks almost identical to his dog but she's way too hyper to be walked on a leash like that my boob would be ripped off as she dragged me around while I was attached to her.

Orlando Bloom will not face hit and run charges from the accident he had earlier this month. It was earlier reported that he was being investigated by the LAPD after they viewed videos of Orlando walking away from the scene and the evidence was turned into the D.A. But the D.A. has decided not to prosecute given lack of evidence and because Orlando was not intoxicated during the accident. He was actually trying to get away from the paparazzi, which is what caused the accident.

And a source close to Orlando actually tells me exclusively that Orlando was also trying to get the paparazzi away from his friends, who were injured in the accident, seeing as he or they didn't want their picture taken in that state.

I'm glad this is over. It was kind of a bullshit case, in my opinion.

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Orlando Bloom is being investigated by the L.A.P.D. for hit and run, because he walked away from the accident he was involved with last week, according to TMZ.

According to Orlando, there was a paparazzi van who cut him off, which is why he swerved and hit the parked car.

I'm not sure what to believe here. I mean, if the police really wanted to investigate him, why didn't they get a drug test right then?

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Here is Orlando walking around L.A. looking hotter than hell. Sigh. Please don't send him to jail. His ass (literally) won't be able to handle it.

"Orlando Bloom, who was in a minor car collision late last night, is grateful that no one was seriously injured. Bloom called for help immediately following the incident. He spent last night at the hospital to be with his childhood friend who sustained a minor neck injury. He is thankful that emergency services arrived so quickly and that the ER staff at Cedars Sinai took such good care of his friend."
I hadn't reported on this earlier because I was asked to wait a bit by a friend, but fuck it. I'm posting the statement. Rebel, grrrr.

Orlando was in a car accident early Friday morning (around 2 a.m.) Drugs and alcohol were not involved and a passenger in his car, stylist Cher Coulter, was injured.

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Orlando's rep has denied rumors that he is dating Jennifer Anniston.

"This is 100 percent not true. They were both in Mexico along with many others to attend a wedding of a friend who works at the management company where ... [they] are represented."

Others in attendance at the wedding were Natalie Portman, Laura Linney, Zoe Saldana, and Kate Bosworth.

Tolda ya. And I didn't even have to reveal my source, lol.

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My little Orli Bloom was quite the naughy boy last week at the GQ Man of the Year Awards in London. He was said to be acting a damn fool, drunk and not understanding what was going on around him. He then tried to hit on all the chicks up in the joint, including Elle Macpherson who happened to be there with Paul McCartney. He was overheard telling her, "I just want to rub my face in your bosoms."

He was probably stupid drunk and didn't remember any of it the next day. He's hot enough to pull of stupid-drunk.

I think he looks totally adorable with the moustache. I love guys with facial hair. At least he grew his own this time and didn't have to get it glued on like he did when he was making Kingdom of Heaven.

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