Aint nobody hatin' you. Actually, you know what, i do envy you. You get to be around when Mariah has a meltdown due to the fact that there's no more Hello Kitty bandages. That shit has to be entertainment gold.

Here's more of the happily married couple (lmfao) leaving Nobu in Malibu yesterday.

Ugh, whoever knows where homegirl is staying needs to spill. I got drunk in Mexico and started singing/dancing/stripping in a fountain to Touch My Body. Funnest thing ever. But that's totally off point.

Mariah Carey and her husband (we're still being punked, right?) Nick Cannon were at Disney yesterday. What's sad/hilarious about that picture is that Mickey and Minnie have the most believable relationship between them.

Nick Cannon (aka Mr. Mariah Carey) was spotted shopping for Hello Kitty merchandise. I wonder if it's a present for upping his celebrity status?

I actually really like the video and the song. It also features video of her and her new husband Nick Cannon. I still can't believe they're married. I know it's been confirmed, but I still have a feeling we're being punked.

Mariah is officially Mariah Cannon. Well, at least she doesn't have to change her initials. Mimi and Nick Cannon have gotten married, according to Linda Cannon, a family member of Nick's.

"He called us and told us all about it. We are happy for him. If that is what he wants then we are happy for him."

Apparently the two, who have been dating for a month, got married in the Bahamas at Mariah's new house. The next question needs to be if she got married with that Hello Kitty bandage she's been sporting for the past couple of weeks. Fuck that, ten bucks she got married in a Helly Kitty swarovski crystal wedding dress.

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Or whatever the hell that Ashton Kutcher show is called? Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have reportedly gotten married, according to Latina.com. I don't believe it. Sure, Mimi is batshit crazy but getting married? If this is true, I bet they end this mess in anullment. Or they need to get this crazy train on Divorce Court, like Gary Coleman.

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"I don't think I could properly educate a child right now."

-Mariah Carey, on having kids. She also said that having one would make her feel violated. Thank god for that.

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I actually had a skirt like that in the eleventh grade and loved it until i think my mom burned it. I wore it to a club once and decided never to wear a skirt to a club again after the guy i was dancing with slipped his hand up my skirt and tried to take my panties off. Yeah.

Anyway, the eternally 12yo Mariah Carey attended her CD release party for E=MC2 last night at Mr. Chows.

My mom loves Touch My Body. It freaks me out a bit when she sings it. I should be used to it being my family's insane.

Anyways, Mimi Carey signed copies of her CD E=MC2 yesterday at the Hard Rock Cafe. You know, on anybody else that outfit would be tragic. On Mimi, it's not so tragic. Ok, that's a complete lie. Part of me wants her to dress better and wear better fitting clothes but the other part of me loves her eccentricities that no other person could pull off.

The Daily Mail is reporting that Mariah Carey is a diva. Shocker of the year, ladies and gentlemen.

• Mariah has been known to have 11 bodyguards surround her restaurant table so diners can't see her eat.

• When signing autographs this week at Selfridges department store, Mariah demanded a £50,000 antique table, covered with silk cloth, to scribble upon, flown in from New York. She sat on a £1,000 throne and was surrounded by roses and butterflies.

• Having stayed out until 3am at celebrity restaurant San Lorenzo, in Knightsbridge, Mariah cancelled an interview on London's Capital Radio Breakfast Show because "she's not a morning person". She then rescheduled a BBC Radio 1 interview because there were problems getting her four-car convoy to the studio from Claridge's hotel, less than half a mile away.

• She insisted on having a £10,000 gym installed next to her penthouse suite at Claridge's. It was also rumoured she was bringing 100 pairs of shoes with her on the trip.

• She booked every penthouse suite in the hotel to ensure her absolute privacy and comfort. She has a 15-strong entourage with her, including bodyguards, stylists, hairdressers, publicists and managers.

So what. People act like it's a bad thing. Fuck Celine Dion, Mariah Carey is the best singer in ze world. Bitch went crazy, had a mental breakdown, came back, topped the charts, and I did not see one coochie flash throughout all that. But if there is a coochie flash out there, y'all bitches better let me know about it.

Plus, unlike Jennifer Lopez, Mariah actually has talent, which is totally an excuse for acting like the HBIC that she is.

Here's more of Mimi leaving Cipriani yesterday in London.



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That title can be taken a couple of different ways, but I especially meant it for the comment that Zoe left for this post about the fabulous Mariah Carey:

mimi is always ON, isnt she

does she even exhale and breath?

lol

sometimes i wonder what she looks like when she does exhale, does she literally blow up to a size 14 or what? lol

still love her crazy ass tho

I seriously spit out some of my Hawaiian Punch when I read that. Soo true.

Here she is, rocking that damn Hello Kitty bandage again:

while arriving at Selfridges to sign copies of her new single Touch My Body in London today.

Mimi stepped out after The Hills party looking as fabulous as ever. Yes, her dresses are always too tight/short, but so what. Homegirl can sing like nobody else and she's crazy. So basically, bitch is fierce. Remember when she brought an ice cream cart to TRL? Love her.

And I love the fact that she's got a Hello Kitty bandage on: