Ugh, fiercest of all of the fiercest bitches. Except for Posh and Coco. Duh. Here's more of Jordan signing copies of her book Angel at Borders. She should have brought Harvey. He's the real angel.

Geri Halliwell signed copies of her new children's book Ugenia Lavender in Kent yesterday looking fabulous as usual. When is Posh going to come out and write a children's book? Seriously. That ish would be beyond fierce.

Dear whoever the hell is making this movie,

You're sucking. Horribly. Confessions of a Shopaholic was a good book. Well, ok, it was a fun read at least. But you, Mr. or Mrs., are fucking up the movie version.

First of all, Becky Bloomwood was British. Second of all, Becky Blomwood was an amazing dresser. In your film, she is neither. She was a fucking personal shopper for Barneys, for crying out loud! The tragic mess you've got Isla Fisher wearing is horrible. This film could have been the next Bridget Jones's Diary. But you've failed in trying to make it the new The Devil Wears Prada. With bad fashion.

Sincerely,
Cris

Dr. Michael Salzhauer from Florida (of course) is releasing a children's book about plastic surgery. He wants the book to teach children how to "cope" when their moms go under the knife. In other words, he's looking for a gimmick to put his name out there.

I don't agree with the book, but I can sort of get it. When my mom had her lips and then her eyes done (you didn't hear that from me) I freaked the fuck out. I was old enough to understand (11), but still. She looked like a tranny version of Howard The Duck. Damn, I need to find those pictures.



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Two of my favorite people in the same picture! I haven't been this excited since I saw Brad Pitt in Fight Club. J.K. Rowling and Jordan both attended the Galaxy British Book Awards last night in London, looking like the classy ladies they are. Actually, J.K. is a classy lady. Jordan on the other hand...

Wait, what the hell was Jordan doing there? Certainly not for the Drag Queens and Trannies book. But I have to admit that I love Jordan a little more for wearing glitter green and gold eyeliner/shadow.

One of my favorite bitches Jordan (Katie Price can fuck off) borrowed one of her husband Peter Andre's "special" dresses for an autograph signing. She signed copies of her new children's book series, Mermaids and Pirates. It should've been called Trannies and Drag Queens, cause that's the first thing that comes to my mind when I see Jordan in that travesty of a costume.

Honestly, she couldn't find a cuter mermaid costume?

Surprisingly, Tori Spelling's son is totally cute. Yeah, the kid has a chance to grow into the fug like his mother, but I'm thinking he's going to be like his d-bag of a father. I used to watch their show on Oxygen (don't ask) and Dean always seemed kind of douchey.

The kid's totally going to grow up to be a little asshole.

Here's more of the family at Tori's book party. See, I went through an entire Tori Spelling post and didn't even mention that her dog is way hotter than her. Ooops.

She pulls me back in. I really can't hate on anybody who reads Harry Potter. Especially since that was me reading Deathly Hallows, waiting for my class to start just yesterday.

Hayden Panettiere was snapped by the paps reading (the best book ever) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yesterday in Washington DC's Union Station.

OMG, if he wrote a tell-all, that would make him the rat-bastard of all rat-bastards. But I have to admit that I'd be waiting in line to read it. I mean, if anything it'll be interesting.

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Lynne Spears' new book is apparently still going to be released, but the Christian book publishing company want to clarify that the book isn't a parenting how-to (or how not-to), it's more of Lynne's memoirs of her life raising two daughters in the business.

"From the onset, the media have inaccurately reported that Lynne Spears' book is a parenting book. I'm sure this helps fuel tabloid readership, but it is simply not true," said MICHAEL S. HYATT, president and CEO of Thomas Nelson. "Lynne's memoir will provide a window into the real-life world of fame and worldly success, including the toll it extracts from some who aspire to it. It will provide a much-needed corrective to a world obsessed with the wrong priorities."

I still won't read it. Or maybe I would but just for comical purposes. Oooh, better yet, we need to get White Oprah a book deal. That shit would be entertaining. You know she's thrilled about Jaime Lynne getting knocked up just so people wouldn't think she's the worst Hollywood mom. Then again, Lynne never condoned Britney or Jaime Lynne's behavior, unlike White Oprah and her million excuses as to why LiLo fucked up.

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