Jessica Simpson has released a new single for her upcoming country album. Um, yeah, I'm not into country music, so I can't really judge this one.

How does it feel to know that your dog is cuter than you?:


Don't worry, given that my dearly departed dog Lucky:




looks a lot like your dog Daisy, I know how you feel.

Here's more of Jessica at a Dillard's signing for her new handbag line.




P.S. - This post is Yoda (Llora) approved

Jessica Simpson's new movie, Blonde Ambition, which was originally slated for DVD only release, opened in 8 movie theaters in Texas this past weekend and made a total of $1,190. That means that per day, eight people went to see her movie at each of the different locations. Damn. Awe, poor Jessica. Ten bucks they don't make that much in DVD revenue. That's what she gets for trying to ruin good movies.

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Jessica Simpson is publicly dating Tony Romo, who happens to be a play for the Dallas Cowboys. Well, apparently he's been sucking hard and Cowboys fans aren't happy. They want to ban Jessica Simpson from attending any more games because they think she's bad luck. HAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAA. That's fucking hilarious. I say they have a point. I mean, have you seen any of her new movies? Exactly, nobody has. Jessica "straight to DVD" Simpson is what I'm going to start calling her.

In other Jessica news, according to OK!, she wants to remake Pretty Woman because she thinks it's an excellent idea for a hit movie for her. Please, Gods, don't let her do this. She already tried to tarnish my memories of Working Girl and Private Benjamin, don't let her do this to Pretty Woman as well.

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An ad for call girls in the Moscow Times lists pictures for hookers going by the names Kristina, Masha and Lena. But the pictures for the girls are for supermodels Karolina Kurkova, Alessandra Ambrosio and celebutard Jessica Simpson. If I were over there I'd totally call to see what I ended up with. Or maybe they really are hookers. Times are tough for Jessica. Have you seen the Major Movie Star trailer?

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Jessica Simpson has a new movie coming out called Major Movie Star. The movie is basically a ripoff of Goldie Hawn's Private Benjamin. The movie studio has so little faith in the movie, they didn't even spring for a proper poster, they just photoshopped an old GQ cover from 2005. Sad. The movie looks cute but in no way makes me want to watch it. It actually makes me want to go out and rent Private Benjamin

Since it's a slow news day, I've decided to bring you more of "Jessica Walks On A Grate", which is hard enough in regular heels, but look at the super-cute, extra thin stiletto's she's sporting! Next time, Jess, try and avoid metal grates, especially when there's a patch of sidewalk right next to them:

Jessica Simpson will be coming out with her own perfume line. How original! You know Jessica, You should also come out with your own clothing line or maybe how about you star in your own reality show? Now that's something nobody has ever done before, isn't it?

P.S. - Remember Dessert, the cosmetics line that she had a couple of years ago that was supposed to taste good? Not only was that shit nasty but it was pretty expensive, too.

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This is why most remakes are bad ideas.

Jessica Simpson tried to remake 9-5 and name it Blonde Ambition. The movie was first set for a theatrical release but it got such bad reviews that they decided to send it straight to DVD.

Now, it's not even going to be released on DVD, it's going to be on sale on QVC. They should just skip that and air it late night on Showtime.

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Jessica Simpson wanted to sing a duet with Reba Mcintyre for Reba's duets CD. Well, according to the National Ledger, Reba said no.

"Jess thought she had been passed over because Reba would be singing with older, more established artists," a source close to Jessica tells OK. "She was devastated when she found out that Kelly Clarkson was invited to be part of the project."

Even though Reba's rep says that Jessica never tried to contact them about a duet, you totally know that Reba didn't want to work with that skank. I mean, five years ago, maybe. But now, hell no.

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Jessica Simpson and Leonardo DiCaprio? Jessica Simpson and Leonardo DiCaprio? Really? Jessica Simpson and Leonardo DiCaprio? Ugh. Life & Style Magazine is reporting that the two were spotted "canoodling". I think I'm going to vomit.

"They were all over each other," says a club-goer, who spotted the two in a booth.

"His arm was around her, and her hand was on his knee." But Leo's gal pal, Bar Rafaeli, doesn't have much to worry about yet: Leo and Jess never got too close and left separately. "Jess always thought Leo was cute and talented," says an insider.

I used to have the biggest crush on Leo when I was young. My friends and I went to see Titanic like fourteen times. Sigh.

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